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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29046600">Curious about the unknown</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnIneffableCliche/pseuds/AnIneffableCliche'>AnIneffableCliche</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale's Bookshop (Good Omens), Bottom Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley's Bentley (Good Omens), Fifty Shades of Grey References, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Heaven &amp; Hell, Humor, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), Jealous Aziraphale (Good Omens), Jealous Crowley (Good Omens), Post-Episode: s01e06 The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives, Power Bottom Aziraphale (Good Omens), Protective Aziraphale (Good Omens), Protective Crowley (Good Omens), Smut, Soft Crowley (Good Omens), Top Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:15:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>20,521</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29046600</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnIneffableCliche/pseuds/AnIneffableCliche</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Aziraphale finds some interesting books and Crowley insists a lot that he must read them.<br/>Erotic literature will be the key that leads the angel to sin.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale &amp; Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Top Crowley Library</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Books</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Quick Notes: In this chapter there will be references to writers and stages of history. In case someone doesn't know them I'll put small numbers this way: (1) (2) (3) that will serve as footnotes. Then I'll explain everything at the end of the chapter. </p><p>Now, enjoy your reading.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley had been about to throw up and maybe, perhaps, he had, just a little. Aziraphale loved to read, that was not news at all. He read from Shakespeare, Jean Genet, Orwell, Cervantes to Cortázar, Pizarnik and García Márquez. He read in all languages and of all genres (with small miracles to achieve successful translations, of course). There was no book that escaped his hands or quote that he did not recognize. And even knowing all that and knowing him from more than six thousand years ago, nothing prepared Crowley for what would await him that morning.</p><p>“Angel, I think you've been given books, do you want me to get rid of them?”</p><p>That always happened. People looked at an old bookstore and thought, <em>"Oh, great, here I'll throw away my encyclopaedias from a hundred years ago."</em> Not that Aziraphale was bothered at all, but that wasn't a shop, it was a facade. And he already did a lot of work scaring his customers, he couldn't waste time sorting out old bibles and boring newspapers. That was his little library of Alexandria (how he had cried when it had burned!) and would not let anything spoil him. Only first copies and manuscripts signed with dedications would enter the shelves.</p><p>“I'm sorry, dear, what did you say?” Asked the blonde, coming from the back with two cups of tea.</p><p>"I think you've been donated books. But don't worry, I'll do a little miracle and disappear them,”</p><p>“Where are they?”</p><p>The demon pointed to a box full of dust and the angel went to it. He didn't like "donations" but he lost nothing by keeping an eye on them. Sometimes humans threw away amazing antiques.</p><p>"Oh, look, " Aziraphale smiled. “Remember Edgar?” (1)</p><p>“I never liked him,”</p><p>The blond frowned. Crowley never had good memories about anyone</p><p>“Oscar!” Aziraphale exclaimed cheerfully as he caressed the cover of a book. “I have each of his copies and all signed. What a good time...” His eyes grew sad. "I was very hurt by his death,”</p><p>“He shouldn't have been so obvious. It was the nineteenth century! They killed people for much less,” (2)</p><p>“Doyle tried to defend him...”</p><p>"Doyle was an idiot," Crowley said. “Do you remember when he believed all that Fairies thing?” (3)</p><p>“Those photos were very convincing!”</p><p>“C’mon! Create the brightest mind in the world and then he was fooled by fifteen-year-old girls!” He smiled. “He was an idiot, and a big one!”</p><p>Aziraphale sighed. He loved the stories of Sherlock Holmes and found it very brave for Conan Doyle to try to save Wilde from his tragic ending. He has never forgiven humans for their senseless hatred. Man was above all a very sensitive and profound being, of admirable imagination, who cared who he slept with?</p><p>"I still remember our last encounter” His eyes filled with light as he remembered it, and Crowley's chest hurt when he saw that. “He asked me to take care of his wife and children. Can you believe it? Even after all the pain he had suffered in those last two years he still cared about others,”</p><p>"I never understood your friendship with that poet.</p><p>"Writer," he corrected. “He wrote much more than just poetry,”</p><p>“Anyway...” The demon put his glass aside. "I don't know what you saw in him," he remarked disdained, then raised an eyebrow. “It is clear what he saw in you,”</p><p>Aziraphale nailed his eyes to him and looked at him very annoyed.</p><p>"I don't know what you're talking about. We were friends,” (4)</p><p>“Come on, angel, I know how he looked at you...” He tried to settle on the couch, sink into it. "It's clear that that second-rate writer was looking for more than a friendship with you,”</p><p>“How he looked at me?” The blonde repeated, confused. "You and I didn't see each other in any of the years that I met him, Crowley...” He crossed his arms. “How exactly do you know the way he looked at me?”</p><p>The demon choked on his own breath and would have spit out the tea if he was still drinking it. Somehow his jealousy had made him talk too much and he knew that Aziraphale would not forget it easily. He would never do that. Aziraphale never forgot anything.</p><p>"I think I should go," he got up. “My plants will not water themselves,”</p><p>"Anthony J. Crowley!" Said the angel in the most authoritarian voice he got. “Have you been spying on me?”</p><p>"Of course not!" he defended himself. “I had many things to do in Paris at the time,”</p><p>“What things?”</p><p>"Things, you know...” <em>Think, think, think.</em> “I don't know angel, I don't remember. There's always evil to do in Paris,” (5)</p><p>"I can't believe it," Aziraphale took the box and took it away from him. “You're unbelievable!”</p><p>Crowley smiled.</p><p>“Should I take that as a compliment?”</p><p>The blond didn't answer. He kept quiet and away from him, stirring the box full of books as if the demon wasn't there.</p><p>“Great, are you avoiding me now?”</p><p>Aziraphale ignored him.</p><p>"Come on, angel, you can't get angry," he tried to approach him slowly. “Don't be childish,”</p><p>Silence. He just got a complete silence, and Crowley wasn't good at holding on. He couldn't stand his partner not paying attention to him. </p><p>“Okay, I'm sorry. I've dis was spying on you. How do you think I always came when you got in trouble?” He asked annoyed. “I wasn't casually in the area!”</p><p>Aziraphale looked at him again with his mouth open in an "O", completely indignant.</p><p>“How long had you been following me?</p><p>
  <em>Shit.</em>
</p><p>“Only a few years...”</p><p>“How long?” He repeated.</p><p>
  <em>Me and my big mouth!</em>
</p><p>“Crowley!”</p><p>“All right!” He looked down, embarrassed. “Remember the War of Succession?” (6)</p><p>“Are you kidding me?!”</p><p>“How do you think I knew where you were? Someone had to save you from the guillotine,”</p><p>“The war ended in 1713!” He complained. “You've been following me for almost a century!”</p><p>“Eighty years to be precise,”</p><p>“I can take care of myself now and I could do it back then,”</p><p>“Oh, yes, sure. That was very clear to me. Especially when you were almost shot by those Nazis,”</p><p>“That woman seemed very convincing!”</p><p>“No wonder you liked Conan Doyle...”</p><p>Aziraphale decided to give up. There was no point in arguing with Crowley. Besides, even though he wouldn't admit it again, he was very grateful to the demon for saving him in those years. Especially during the stupid world war.</p><p>He kept going through the books. There were some in very bad shape and others full of land, but they could be saved. He wouldn't throw away the books. Even though there was nothing that wanted to stay, that didn't mean they were rubbish.</p><p>"I'll donate them," he decided. “Maybe some schools accept them”</p><p>“All of them?” The redhead glanced inside the box. “Even these?”</p><p>With a flick of his wrist he floated five books that sworn around the blonde. Aziraphale was able to quickly read the titles but did not recognize any.</p><p>“Story of the eye, Persuasion by Jane Austen" He smiled. “Wasn't that the lady you told me about?” He kept reading. “Fanny Hill by John Cleland, The Bridges of Madison County, Oh, I've seen wonderful bridges! Great architectures...” He took the last book into his hands, ignoring the malicious smile on Crowley's face. “Fifty shades of Grey?” (7)</p><p>"You'll surely like that one,”</p><p>“Have you read it?” He asked, doubtfully. “You don't read,”</p><p>“I do it if I find the book interesting,”</p><p>“Why can't I donate these books?” Aziraphale took them all from the air and started putting them back in the box. “Surely they give them a good use. Teachers will find them educational,”</p><p>"Yeah, maybe," the demon remarked, holding his laughter. “But you should read them first. Don't you always say that every book is made for a good reader to appreciate? You're the best reader I know,”</p><p>“I'm the only one you know,”</p><p>"Oh, come on, angel, " he insisted. “Read them and then we can talk about them,” He took them out of the box again and took one. “I really liked this one,”</p><p>“The one with the bridges?” Crowley nodded. “I didn't know you liked structures,”</p><p>The demon blushed. He had really read it and he really liked it. More than he’d dare admit.</p><p>“It's a love story,”</p><p>Aziraphale was silent. Very seldom did that word come from his companion's lips, and when it did, he was delighted to hear it.</p><p>"Okay," he agreed after a few minutes. “I'll read them all and then we can talk about them,”</p><p>“Great,”</p><p>"We'll do a book club," he smiled.</p><p>Crowley took his glasses and sighed. He'd give anything to see the blonde reading those books, but for nothing in the world would he become an old lady who had tea, ate cookies and went to book clubs... <em>right?</em></p><p>“Don't overdo it, angel,”</p><p>
  <em>No, definitely not.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>***Notes***</em>
</p><p> </p><p>(1): Edgar Allan Poe (1809 – 1849) American writer, poet, critic and romantic journalist, generally recognized as one of the universal masters of the short story.</p><p> </p><p>(2): Oscar Wilde was charged for his sexuality (he was homosexual) and he was sentenced to two years of hard work. Arthur Conan Doyle tried to defend him along with other authors but they could not get justice to "forgive" him. Wilde didn't die for this (he wasn't sent to kill) but he was certainly wounded by those two years. Here, for example, someone talks about it:</p><p><em>"These jobs consisted more than anything of wearing the person down, punishing the body with useless exercises, giving them porridge that caused vomiting. dreadful things. Wilde got out of jail badly destroyed as a person, as an individual, and developed disease."</em> </p><p>That's why I decided Crowley say Wilde had indeed died because of his "punishment." Neither Crowley nor I think homosexuality should be punished. I personally am part of the LGBT community.</p><p> </p><p>(3): In 1920 two almost teenage girls created Montages of Fairies that they sold as "true photos". Conan Doyle bumped into them and long argued that the photos were authentic, until the girls came out to deny it. A lot of people made fun of Doyle for falling into that charade, but I get tender. The man wanted to believe in magic.</p><p> </p><p>(4): Michael Sheen (actor from Aziraphale) appeared in the film "Wilde" which chronicles the life of the writer of the same name: Oscar Wilde. He acts as his mistress, Robert Ross. In Good Omens fandom we often write about Aziraphale's relationship with Wilde, and it's a lot of fun for me. Furthermore, Wilde is said to give autographed copies to his lovers, and it is canon that Aziraphale has several such copies...</p><p> </p><p>(5): Paris is "the city of love", so it is an irony for Crowley to take it as the city of terror and evil. For more information search for "The Reign of Terror".</p><p> </p><p>(6): Spanish War of Succession. 1701-1713, exactly 80 years before Crowley and Aziraphale met in 1793, during the French Revolution. As a fun fact: the bastille was destroyed years earlier (in 1789) and Neil Gaiman has confessed that this is a mistake of the series. He said, <em>"I didn't do my math right, but we didn't have time to re-shoot the scene"</em> I think the scene originally happened outside, when Aziraphale was taken hostage.</p><p> </p><p>(7): These titles are from erotic romance books. Personally, I haven't read them, except for The Bridges of Madison County, which is more romance than eroticism, but there are also certain explicit references. I love it, I highly recommend it just like the movie (Meryl Streep acts, no waste).</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Human</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <em>"Love does not obey our hopes, its mystery is pure and absolute..."</em>
</p><p>The angel began to feel his eyes stinging. He tried to move but he just couldn't, because that book had him prisoner. He'd spent the whole day locked in the bookshop, not even opening a blind. No eating, no drinking tea. Without being able to detach himself off from those pages and the wisdom they seemed to have. The author certainly felt each of the phrases with pain and passion, deep, immense. with the kind of earthly feelings that only a human would be able to express.</p><p>
  <em>"In four days, he gave me a lifetime, a universe, and made the separate parts of me into a whole…”</em>
</p><p>Aziraphale almost inadvertently sighed and realized that it was inexplicable to him, and that it hurt him. Although he tried with all his might, the beauty of that narrative left him without words or thoughts, with nothing but questions, which began to populate him like the trees and their roots populate the ground, and grow, destroying everything in his path.<br/>The book talked about a woman boring from her monotonous life, who in just four days manages to fall madly in love with a man, a wild, unique poet and the last of his ancient lineage. A different man than her husband had become. A man who had opened up a world of possibilities for her. And in such a short time the lovers had sworn eternal love, even knowing that they would be lost, and that they could not have each other. Because that's how they felt. It didn't take them more than four days to understand it, <strong>because humans don't think, they feel</strong>.</p><p>
  <em>"God or the universe or whatever one chooses to label the great systems of balance and order does not recognize Earth-time… To the universe four days is no different than four billion light-years,”</em>
</p><p>He was there, embodied in the words that might either be of that man or they could be his. The universe did not care about humans or angels, and it did not recognize their time or their lives full of crossroads, and that was something Aziraphale did not understand. How did humans manage to be so confident with so few answers? He had lived longer than any of them, and yet he was dying of fear. But lovers of that story could live from curiosity as long as they had each other. They could die in a question. Humans, even if incomprehensible to him, managed to find answers in other humans, and in a force that they described in thousands of stories, from the corner of the world they were, like an invisible thread that seemed to push them towards each other, like an immense network. And at that well-known and unknown force at the same time, they called it love.</p><p>Aziraphale knew what love was, but nevertheless he also knew he knew nothing about it. He could feel it in the air when he saw a couple kissing, or when they passed by held hands. He could see it in dog and cat owners for his pets, and he could notice it strongly in a mother's heart. But not <em>that kind</em> of love, that kind of unbridled, deep passion that was narrated on the pages of the books he read.</p><p>
  <em>“I'll only say it once. I've never said it before: but this kind of certainty only comes once in a lifetime…”</em>
</p><p>When Robert, the lover, had said those words to Francesca, the woman who was betraying her husband, the angel simply had to stop and re-read the phrase over and over again, for he could not understand it. He felt something slipping away, only he didn't know exactly what, and that doubt was killing him inside.</p><p>
  <em>It only comes once in a lifetime...</em>
</p><p>Sometimes, in occasions like that, Aziraphale wondered how it would feel to love like that: how humans loved. With the certainty that the person in front of them was the person with whom they would like to share their short-lived life, and with whom they would want to die. How would it feel to feel so much passion? So much love and longing? What would it be like? Throughout his six thousand years on earth he had met many couples who had marvelled him, and had simply followed them over the years, hoping to understand why they chose each other. Humans were thousands and free. In God's eyes any act of love was well received, and yet most humans decided to engage and love a person exclusively. Of course, there were also those who decided not to give themselves up to monogamy, and in more modern times as in which he lived he also knew of couples who considered themselves open to being with others in their sexuality, with no link but the promise to be honest with each other. And that just amazed him. How did humans love in so many different ways... what would it be like to experience it? To feel that your heart truly belongs to someone, and that person becomes your priority almost like your own life. How would it feel?</p><p>
  <em>"And I am still full of love for all that belongs to you, full of jealousy for all that rubs against you and takes away a piece of you... And you're still here, giving me life in every sigh, begging for my kisses without knowing that you don't even have to ask for them... Because they are yours, ‘cause I am no longer mine, but yours..."</em>
</p><p>That level of surrender caused a tear to slowly fall down his cheek, without him really knowing why he was crying. It wasn't common for him to feel so sad, but there was something that just scratched his chest. He knew himself perfectly and at the same time he felt that someone else was emerging. A part of him who was full of fear, completely terrified of what that might mean.If he had been born human, with a short life, with his thoughts and emotions intact, what could have happened? If the soul mates, those he had read so much of actually existed, would he have found it? A person to spend your life with and trust. A person to call if you are sick, or when great joys occur. A person who was always there, to love him no matter what.<br/>A person like Crowley.<br/>If Crowley had also been born human, with his tastes and his glasses, and his jeans and his particular walk, would they have met? Would they have been chosen from millions of people? Because even though he was an angel and the redhead a demon, they had chosen each other, right? They had met and spent six thousand years together regardless of their sides, creating a new place where they had managed to be friends. And if they had been born humans, would their side have existed too? That abstract and strange place that was created only when they went out to dinner or were in his bookshop for a drink, and then vanished when the demon was going out the door. Would that exist?</p><p>
  <em>"I thought he'd been there alone a few moments earlier. I was lying down, where the water had slipped all over his body. And I thought it was intensely erotic. Almost everything about Robert had begun to seem erotic to me."</em>
</p><p>And of the hundreds of things Aziraphale didn't understand, that one especially bothered him above all. It bothered him not to understand the desire to which humans were hopelessly bound, for he saw in them an enormous pleasure that for him simply seemed like a fantasy. And also, for moments, he seemed to notice it in Crowley, and there it just exploded. Not wanting to understand was one thing and not being able to do it was completely different, and he couldn't. He knew he couldn't. But if he had been born human... he would have no choice. Desires, like feelings, came with their dense blood, written with fire in human nature. How could they ignore them? How could they not understand them if they were born with them? It seemed almost instinctive. The first human kiss had seen it born on a paradisiac afternoon, when Adam and Eve had gotten closer, and he simply couldn't stop staring at them. What they were doing didn't make sense, but they enjoyed it. And in Rome he had seen men’s delighted to spend whole days lying next to each other, exploring their bodies as if they were precious works of art. No need for reproduction in between, just for pleasure and fun.<br/><em>Pleasure</em>; what a strange and mysterious word, so full of a hidden meaning that he had not even been able to consider before. If he had been born human he would have learned what pleasure was made of, and surely Crowley too... <em>if he didn’t already know.</em> And that immediately directed him to another thought, which conveyed to him a restlessness never before experienced: had the demon felt pleasure? Had he understood in his body what carnal pleasure meant?</p><p>
  <em>"I don't wanna  need you... because I can't have you."</em>
</p><p>Aziraphale knew what jealousy was capable of doing in a human's mind. He knew that they had justified heinous crimes with it, and that it was something that was best taken care of. But by imagining Crowley with someone else, understanding what his earthly body had to offer him, he simply couldn't find another emotion to experience. He had read that jealousy clouded reason, and that's how he felt. Completely hurt and angry, feeling able to attack that person or just make them disappear. And there, at the very moment when that thought crossed his mind, he felt fear.<br/>If they both had been born human, would they have chosen each other? What if <em>only he</em> fell in love with Crowley and Crowley didn't belong to him? He couldn't live with it. He would want to belong only to the demon, and more importantly, he would want the demon to belong only to him. <br/>He'd like it to be his alone and be completely his, because otherwise, without fully understanding it, he'd know he'd just have a broken heart. Imagine the demon, human or not, with someone else hurt him, and he was even more hurt by the fact that it hurt. Why did all that even matter to him? He wasn't a human and he never would be. They never would be. They could not understand what death was, nor desire, nor pleasure.</p><p>Or maybe yes. Maybe one of them already knew. What if he knew?</p><p>He've never asked Crowley about any of that. He had decided that the redhead had the right to keep secrets from him and he should not ask him anything about it. They didn't have to tell each other everything they did. But now, having finished that book, he just couldn't not do it. He had too many questions and needed answers. He couldn't live with them for all eternity.</p><p>"Don't answer, don't answer, don't answer..." he said quietly with the phone against his ear.</p><p>“Aziraphale?”</p><p>"Hello, Crowley," he said nervously. “Am I interrupting something?”</p><p>“No...” The demon answered. “What’s up?”</p><p>“It's nothing, dear. Only... I wanted to know what you were doing,”</p><p>He really hadn't thought about what to tell him or how. <em>Hello, I need to know if you have fallen in love or if you have consummated any carnal acts, would you be so kind as to tell me the details?<br/></em>He definitely had to be more subtle.</p><p>“Is something wrong, angel?”</p><p>“No, why are you asking?”</p><p>“Because you never call me to <em>know what I was doing</em>..." he said, convinced that the blonde was hiding something. “You hate using the phone,”</p><p>"I don't hate it," Aziraphale tried to defend himself. “I'm just trying to use it as fair and necessary. They're very complicated artefacts, and I don't expect to understand them because...”</p><p>"Angel," Crowley called him, interrupting him. “Tell me what's going on,”</p><p>Silence. For several seconds only that was his answer.</p><p>“Could you come over for a drink tonight?” Aziraphale asked finally, a little embarrassed. “I... well...” He was very bad lying. Very, very bad. “I have finished reading the books you recommended me,”</p><p>“Oh...”</p><p>
  <em>Oh.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So that's what it had him that way.</em>
</p><p>“Sure. Tonight? Yes, I think I can,”</p><p>"All right," he smiled. “Wonderful,”</p><p>“Okay,”</p><p>"Okay..." he repeated, no longer knowing what to say. “See you, dear,”</p><p>And then he cut, convinced that it had been the worst decision he had ever made.<br/>What had he gotten himself into?</p><p>At nine o'clock Crowley knocked on the door. The bookshop looked strangely tidy and that pleasantly surprised him. The angel used to be a little disastrous with his shelves, but now he could see books settled almost by colour and from smaller to larger.<br/>Aziraphale had been accommodating them by hand for hours, as an excuse to think. He needed to think. Because even though he had hundreds of questions circling his head, he just had no idea what he would ask the demon.</p><p>"Sit down, dear," he invited him. “Do you want white wine?”</p><p>“Don't you have that old red wine crop?”</p><p>"Red will be then," he gave him a smile.</p><p>He went to the kitchen, came back with two glasses and then filled them to almost the edge. If he wanted to ask questions, he needed alcohol. Extraordinary amounts of alcohol.</p><p>"So…" Crowley began after almost an hour between small talks and long silences. “You've called me about something special, haven't you? Something you want to tell me but for some reason you just can't do it," he guessed. “So tell me, are you afraid, embarrassed, or is it a mixture between the two?”</p><p>“Afraid?” Aziraphale asked, trying to sound outraged. “Why would I be afraid to ask you something?”</p><p>“The things you're afraid of are strange,”</p><p>"Well, I've never been afraid of you,”</p><p>"I'm glad to hear that," the demon said with a smile. "Seriously, angel...," he looked into his eyes, letting him know that he no longer wanted to play. “What is it?”</p><p>The blonde felt his throat press, and as much as he tried the words just didn't come out of his lips. It was true, he was afraid. He was completely terrified.</p><p>"Angel, it's me," Crowley told him, encouraging him to speak. “You can tell me anything. Do you trust me?”</p><p>“Of course I trust you!”</p><p>“Then tell me why you invited me,”</p><p>He had to. There was simply no reason to fear. There was no safer place, person or entity more appropriate than that demon. He had to ask him.</p><p>"All right," he took some air. “I read the book you told me,”</p><p>“The one with the bridges?”</p><p>"That same one," he nodded. “And I've felt... emotions a little... Complex,”</p><p>Crowley looked at him for a second and then slowly frowned.<br/>He wasn't following him.</p><p>"Well, I thought you more than anyone in the world understood that good books create such feelings,”</p><p>“Yes, I know. Of course I know, but it is that... This particular book created doubts in me, and many questions that I am not able to answer,”</p><p>“And you called me because...?”</p><p>"Because I think you can answer me,”</p><p>The redhead watched him so it seemed to be a whole minute, but the angel did not retreat from his gaze. He wanted to have that conversation. He had to face it. If it wasn't Crowley answering, he just didn't have anyone else to ask. Just him. One way or another he always ended up with him.</p><p>"Okay," the demon finally said, filling his cup. “Ask me anything you want and if I can I'll answer you,”</p><p><em>Great</em>, he had made it, and it hadn't even been that hard, but... <em>Now what?</em></p><p>"All right...," said Aziraphale, trying to think. “You have ever... Well, you know... met someone?”</p><p>“I met a lot of people,”</p><p>“Yes but I mean to... meet them... in other way”</p><p>“Other way?”</p><p>“That is, to know personally, in the sense of... know a person intimately,”</p><p>“By intimately you mean...?”</p><p>“For God's sake, Crowley, you know what I'm talking about,”</p><p>“Well no, angel, I don't. Could you be clear? Without so many twists or euphemisms”</p><p>“Have you ever slept with someone?”</p><p>Okay, that had been direct. Too direct. Specifically direct.<br/>Crowley paled and then turned red, all in less than a second. Never in his whole life had him thought that he would talk to Aziraphale about something like that. Never, in six thousand years of life. <em>Never.</em></p><p>“If I have had sex? You mean carnal relationships?”</p><p>“Why are you spinning now?” The angel asked annoyed.</p><p>It was true, they both wanted to run away.</p><p>"Yes," the redhead replied. “I've had sex, yes,”</p><p>Aziraphale held his breath. He realized that oddly so, deep down he had been wanting the demon to say no, because then his interrogation could end there. But that hadn't happened, and now he wanted to go on. </p><p>“And have you ever kissed someone?”</p><p>“Obviously,”</p><p>"Right…" he replied, though he really didn't understand why that was <em>obvious.</em> “And how did you feel?”</p><p>Crowley almost choked on his wine.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>"I asked how did you feel,”</p><p>“When?”</p><p>"When you kissed someone," he replied. “Did you feel happy?”</p><p>“I don't know if happy would be the word I would use,”</p><p>“And what word would you use?”</p><p>"I don't know...," he replied sincerely. “It wasn't a big deal,”</p><p>"It wasn't a big...," he repeated without understanding. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“It was just a kiss. Then he took me to a more private place, we did what we did and he left," he explained, wanting to downplay it. “As you can see, it wasn't a big deal,”</p><p>“He?”</p><p>"Yes<em>, he</em>," said Crowley. “Did you want me to be specific? It's not that it's been any different with women...”</p><p>“Women? Have you been with women’s, too?” he asked, highlighting plurality. </p><p>"I've been with men being a man and also being a woman, and the same way with certain womens...," he replied, feeling strangely uncomfortable. “Why are you asking me this?”</p><p>Aziraphale could feel a strange sensation in his chest, but he could not identify its nature. He was angry and hurt, but it wasn't anger or sadness what he felt. It was both and neither, too many emotions together. An explosive cocktail.</p><p>“What's the matter, angel?”</p><p>“Why are you asking? I’m fine,”</p><p>"Something has changed, I can feel it...," the demon said. “Your energy has become negative,”</p><p>The blond deflected his gaze feeling tremendously guilty. He knew jealousy was taking over him, but he couldn't control it. Crowley in the arms of others, kissing others, away from him... why? Why he hadn't been enough? Why did it hurt not to own him when he didn't even know if he loved him?</p><p>“I don't understand where you want to go with this, angel,”</p><p>“It's just, I don't... I don't get it,”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>"Nothing, actually," he clarified, trying to get to his point. “I don't understand your desire to give yourself up that way. Did you feel love? Did you feel what I've read in so many books? Was it really as magical as they say? I'd really love to understand, but I can't. I just don't get it,”</p><p>Crowley looked at him for a second and then wet his lips with his tongue.</p><p>"I can't explain it to you, angel..." he answered almost with sorrow. “But if you want, I could show you,”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Aziraphale asked, confused. “Show me?”</p><p>“I could kiss you,”</p><p>The blonde held his breath for a moment and clasped his hands on his lap. He felt his heart beating quickly but nevertheless managed to stay calm. He didn't even blush.</p><p>“Would you be able to do that for me?”</p><p>“Would you be willing?”</p><p>"If it's the only way I can really understand it, I know you're the right demon," he smiled.</p><p>“Are you sure about this?”</p><p>“Yes... are you?”</p><p>"I am, believe me," Crowley assured him, smiling too. “You're the only angel I want to kiss,”</p><p>
  <em>The only angel, person or creature.</em>
</p><p>Aziraphale felt surprised. Crowley <em>wanted</em> to do it. Like humans, he wanted it. Would that be the case? Would it be the way he expected it? There certainly wasn't another demon he trusted either. There was no demon, person or creature he really trusted the way he trusted Crowley.<br/>The redhead approached him and sat next to him, turned to see him and carried a hand to his cheek, completely slow and soft, trying not to intimidate the angel, who observed all his movements almost in slow motion. Aziraphale wanted to keep them. </p><p>"I'm afraid I don't know how I should act,”</p><p>“Just get carried away. Everything will be very natural," Crowley explained. “You'll know what to do. You can stop me anytime, okay? The important thing is that you feel comfortable,”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded and then tried to shut down his mind. He wasn't supposed to think, He had to feel. It was all about feeling.<br/>Crowley came even closer and closed his eyes, but the blonde decided to leave them open. After a second that seemed eternal to him, his lips found the demon’s lips. A soft texture and a sweet taste, wine and something else he could not decipher. Something he could only explain as Crowley's mouth against his. The scent of his perfume completely invaded him, and the demon's other hand took him from the back of his head, attracting him further, deepening the kiss, and then Aziraphale closed his eyes and allowed himself to enjoy, without worrying <em>about</em> feeling. Just feeling.<br/>When the demon felt that his companion's body relaxed he stroked his cheek sweetly and smiled even inside the kiss. He wanted to deepen it, but he didn't mean to scare him. He knew he had to go slow. He moved his lips and Aziraphale went back, just a few centimetres, trying to process what he was supposed to do, and when he understood it he returned to those hot lips more determined than before, trying to take the initiative. He rested his hands on Crowley's cheeks and opened his mouth, inviting him, and the demon reciprocated gratefully. Soon the two were moving, enjoying that simple kiss like they had never enjoyed anything before, and the angel thought that was better than food. Strangely similar but better, because Crowley's lips were exquisite, and he could try them forever without ever getting fed up with them.</p><p>"Wait... " said the demon, suddenly separating. “I need to breathe,”</p><p>Aziraphale nodded. He felt his lips swelled and his body agitated, but his hands were still on Crowley's face, apprehending him, and he did not want to let go.<br/>He wanted more. He didn't want to stop.<br/>He lured him back with a little push and felt the demon pass his hands down his back, clinging to him as a snake would. Pressing him. He didn't want him to let go. They couldn't stop.<br/>They continued to kiss with small breaks and at one point they both forgot where they were. Time and space was an abstract construction, they knew it, but that had never made so much sense before.</p><p>At one point, Aziraphale felt something damp touching his lips, and opened his mouth even more, allowing Crowley's tongue to enter. It was strange, hot and dense, because it did the kiss something much louder and more intimate. He could tell his body had taken control of the situation and quickly responded to the stimuli. He understood, he finally did. So much so that he got carried away completely, and when the demon's hand began to stir his hair, he raised his head to offer him his neck, letting out a small groan from his ajar lips.<br/>And that was too much.</p><p>"No," Crowley said, walking away. “Enough. We have to stop,”</p><p>"I'm sorry," the angel replied, trying to recompose himself. “Did I do something wrong?”</p><p>“No. No, not at all,” he smiled, holding one of his hands. “We just shouldn't... this has already been too much for today,”</p><p>Aziraphale saw that in the eyes of the snake there was affection, but also something else. Something dark and sinful. Crowley was looking at him with such a hugging desire that he could feel his body burn. And he understood. If they didn't stop now, it would be very difficult to stop later.</p><p>“Well?” asked the redhead. “Was it as you imagined?”</p><p>“It was... really, it was...” Aziraphale looked at him with bright eyes. “Thank you. It was wonderful,”</p><p>They were silent for a long time after that. In an accomplice silence that only they were able to achieve. But Crowley decided to break it, because he couldn't live with a thought without saying it out loud.</p><p>“Aziraphale, I want to ask you something,”</p><p>“Whatever you want, dear,”</p><p>"You don't have to answer me now...," he took courage. “Would you like to go out to dinner with me?”</p><p>“Oh, of course I do. Why should I think about it? We can go wherever you like...”</p><p>"No, not like <em>that</em>, I mean," the demon interrupted. “If you want to go out on a <em>date</em> with me,”</p><p>The angel was surprised, but immediately smiled. He now understood, or had begun to do so, and liked that it was with Crowley, of all beings in the world, with whom he could do it.</p><p>“I'd love to, dear,”</p><p>And he knew that that it was the key that would then open the door to that mystery. Of that mystery called love, which was pure and absolute.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! I hope you enjoyed it!<br/>Remember that I don't speak English so any of the translation errors let me know.<br/>Cheers!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Apple</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale looked in the mirror again and fixed his bow tie, it was the tenth time he accommodated it and yet he was not comfortable with it. He decided it would be best to leave it alone, so he turned around and left his room, fed up with himself.<br/>He was nervous. Worse than that, he was a bundle of nerves. That night he'd go out with Crowley, but not like one of his many previous dinners, they'd go on a date, and that was an excuse enough for him to go crazy.</p><p>In the devil's apartment, he sang and shook his hair, which was more grown than usual, and decided which of all his pairs of black jeans he would wear. He put on his snakeskin belt and then smiled at himself.</p><p>"Hello, angel...," he said in front of the mirror. “You look good,”</p><p>
  <em>You look good? Were those all your ideas? </em>
</p><p>“All right, angel?”</p><p><em>"All right, angel?" </em>he repeated himself, mocking. He definitely had to think his words better. He didn't want Aziraphale to see him nervous. It would be a dinner like any other. They'd been to a lot of dinners in six thousand years. It wouldn't be a big deal.<br/>Only that it would.<br/>His plants were surprised to see him so happy but they decided it would be better not to move a leaf. The mood of his owner was very changing and the smallest detail could alter him. They didn't want to end up in a shredder.</p><p>“I'll be back later!” He yelled at them before closing the door.</p><p><em>Yes.</em> There was definitely something wrong with him.</p><p>Aziraphale felt the presence of the demon from the moment the Bentley parked outside his bookshop. He let out a sigh and he said to himself that everything would be fine, but unconsciously squeezed his lips when Crowley knocked on his door, and when he opened it, he stopped breathing.</p><p>“Hello... angel” greeted the newcomer, pausing strangely.</p><p>"Hello...," he smiled.</p><p>Silence. A very long silence.  </p><p>“Do you want to go now?” Crowley asked.</p><p>“Oh, are we going somewhere?”</p><p>"To dinner...," he announced, as if it were obvious.</p><p>“Yes! I mean, I know. I just thought we'd have dinner here...”</p><p>“Here?”</p><p>Silence again. <em>For God's sake and Satan!</em> Would that be like that all night?</p><p>“It was a silly idea, let's go,”</p><p>“No, we can stay if you want,”</p><p>"No, don't worry," he gave him a smile, proving that everything was fine, that it was just them. “Let's go,”</p><p>They left the bookstore slowly and entered the car as if the second Armageddon had been announced. Their hearts were frantic, their energies collided, and their natural instincts simply did not know how to blend in. They had to calm down. It was just them.</p><p>Crowley started the Bentley and out of nowhere "Crazy little thing called love" began to sound, although the demon swore it two weeks ago was called "For Elisa." Soon Mercury's voice flooded the journey and the words flew around him, causing them both to look forward, embarrassed.</p><p>
  <em>"This thing called love, I just can't handle it</em>
</p><p>
  <em>This thing called love, I must get round to it</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I ain't ready</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Crazy little thing called love…”</em>
</p><p>The demon hurried to remove the cd, but quickly noticed that the player was not turned on. The music was coming out of the car, as if it were singing. He had betrayed him. He had been betrayed by his own car!</p><p>They parked outside the Ritz, but immediately noticed something wasn't right. The lights were off and there was not a soul on the outskirts, which was strange given that there were always long waiting lines (which they never did, because a table always miraculously vacated, of course). As they approached the door they saw a huge sign, and Crowley frowned annoyed.</p><p>“Closed for renovations?” He asked indignantly. “This damn place has been open since 1906! Now you want to reform it?! Did they have to start today?!”</p><p>“Crowley, dear, calm down,”</p><p>The demon looked at the angel for a second and sighed. He wanted that night to be perfect and everything was coming out like the devil, in the bad sense of the word, of course. Even being a demon he had to have opportunities for appointment and good luck from time to time, or was his luck also closed by reforms?</p><p>“Do you want to take a walk in the park?” Aziraphale proposed, with his usual smile. “It's a lovely night,”</p><p><em>You're lovely</em>, Crowley thought, but instead of answering he just nodded, thanking him. He wanted to run out of there, but he knew the angel wouldn't make it that easy for him. If the date wasn't going well, they'd go through it together. <br/>They had spent six thousand years running away, they couldn't quit now.</p><p>“Remember the first time?” The demon asked after they had been walking in silence for a long time.</p><p>“In Eden?”</p><p>“Yes. When Eva ate the apple and...”</p><p>"When <em>you</em> encouraged Eve to eat the apple," he corrected him.</p><p>"Yes, that," he conceded. “Remember our first talk?”</p><p>“Of course I do. You asked me what I'd done with my sword, and I told you I'd given it away. I remember because I'd been thinking about whether that was the right thing to do,”</p><p>“And I told you that I didn't think you were capable of doing evil...”</p><p>"You said it with irony," he said in a tone of reproach. “Now I know,”</p><p>“I meant it!” He assured, though the angel's gaze made it clear that he did not believe him. “You really are not able to do evil,”</p><p>"I'm not so sure about that...," Aziraphale said, and then looked at him curiously. “Why are you asking me about that now? It's been a long time,”</p><p>"Because I haven't really been entirely honest...," he inquired, earning all his partner's attention. “I already knew what you had done with the sword,”</p><p>“What?” Asked the blonde with surprise. “How?”</p><p>“I'd seen you give it to them, that's what took me to you in the first place," he explained. "I thought you were a renegade who hadn't fallen yet, and you were trying to create problems, but then I realized I was wrong," he smiled. “You really did it to protect them,”</p><p>“A renegade?” He repeated. “That would have been fun. Instead you ran into me,”</p><p>“And what's wrong with that?”</p><p>"Well, you know...," he paused, as if what he wanted to insinuate was obvious. “I am not the wildest angel in heaven. I must confess I was afraid of you at first,”</p><p>“Afraid?” asked the redhead, now he with a big surprise. “From me?”</p><p>“Not from <em>you</em>, but from your nature. You were a demon and I was an angel. I was afraid I'd fall for meeting you,”</p><p>“I was afraid of being bathed in holy water. I was afraid I'd be killed for treason,”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled.  </p><p>“And yet you stayed by my side, saving me over the years,”</p><p>"And you allowed me to stay...," the demon replied. “Or are you still afraid of my nature?” He asked funnily.</p><p>The angel laughed down and then approached his companion. He took his hand and squeezed it, intertwining their fingers, feeling a shiver that completely invaded him. After a moment he looked at his lips and stood there for a moment, eager to try them. He remembered the original sin, the apple, the humans, the desires, the instinct and its nature, all in a small second that seemed to him like an eternity. He hadn't even noticed how close he was to the demon's face until he sighed and felt his breathing colliding with his, hot, wet. He wanted to do it, he wanted to kiss him.</p><p>“Crowley, can I kiss...?”</p><p>The redhead took his face and lured him, causing his lips to collide. Slowly they began to attach to each other, and the kiss deepened. The demon's bifida tongue wanted to explore his mouth, and Aziraphale gave him permission, completely overwhelmed by the number of sensations that left him breathless. Crowley's hands on his hips, rising down his back, reaching his hair; her lips, fast, slow, wine-flavoured. Everything seemed to be a bomb that would explode at any moment, and he could only think they were in the park, by the duck lagoon.<br/><em>The Ducks. </em></p><p>"Dear...," he said, walking away to get some air. “We must go,”</p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>The angel smiled at the gesture of sadness on his companion's face, but then pointed his head at one of the ducks, who watched them closely.</p><p>“I'm afraid we have admirers,”</p><p>The demon looked at the animal with contempt, but then nodded. He knew the night had to end at some point, but he didn't expect it to go that fast. He really wanted to spend more time with Aziraphale. Even another six thousand years wouldn't be enough.</p><p>They returned to the Bentley, and to the demon's happiness, the car was silent all the way to the bookshop. As if it also understood that the evening was coming to an end. The angel came down, opened the door, and then went back to the car.<br/>For some strange reason Crowley wasn't after him.</p><p>“Are you coming?”</p><p>“Do you want me to come in?” Asked the redhead, trying to disguise his surprise.</p><p>“Oh, I'm sorry, where are my manners?” He smiled at him. “Do you want to come inside for a drink?”</p><p>The demon smiled, and in less than five minutes they were both in the armchairs, each with a glass in their hands, enjoying a white wine from an old harvest.<br/>Crowley looked around. The books were messy, the floor was full of notes and loose leaves, and there were cups of tea everywhere, which the angel had surely forgotten. The whole place seemed like a mess, and he love it.</p><p>“Sometimes I forget we're two separate minds, you know?” the blonde commented. “When I have a thought I feel that you already know it or that somehow I told you. Strange, isn't it?”</p><p>"Yes, strange," the demon said, as he searched with his gaze for something that was simply no longer there. “Did you read all the books?”</p><p>“Which ones, dear?” He asked as he took his glass.</p><p>“From the box you had been donated,”</p><p>"Oh, <em>those</em>...," he nodded. “I read the one with the bridges,”</p><p>“Yes, I know, but did you read the others?”</p><p>Aziraphale went completely blush and Crowley knew that that was his answer.<br/>He had read them, of course he had.<br/>The demon, without being able to help it, began to laugh</p><p>"I don't think it's funny," the angel snapped. “You could have warned me,”</p><p>"Oh, no, " he said with a smile. “It is rude to anticipate some of the plot,”</p><p>“Why did you tell me I'd like them?”</p><p>“Didn't you like them?” the angel looked at him as saying <em>"you know I don't."</em></p><p>The blonde remembered some quotes and could still feel a strange tingling inside him, which he had not understood at the time or neither now. For some reason those books made his cheeks take colour, his hands sweat and his belly writhed. It felt hot, uncomfortable and strange. It wasn't something he enjoyed, but once he started, he hadn't been able to stop reading them either. He just had to finish them, <em>they were books!</em> He never left a book. And those for some reason were addictive. They crudely described human desires, complexity, and needs. He couldn't deny that he had enjoyed reading, but he had enjoyed it too much. In a sense that, he notice, wasn’t worthy of an angel.</p><p>"Angel," Crowley called him, catching his attention. “Are you all right?”</p><p>“What?” Aziraphale looked at him. “Yes, of course. You want some more wine?”</p><p>He took the bottle which was still very full and practically ran into the kitchen. He opened the faucet, washed his hands and took them to his face in need, trying to remove the sudden heat that had begun to rise through his body. He didn't understand what was happening to him, but he knew he was feeling embarrassed now. He just couldn't control his body.</p><p>“Is something wrong?” Crowley asked, watching him from the door frame.</p><p>"No, nothing," smiled the angel.</p><p>"Aziraphale...," he reproached him. “You're not good with lies,”</p><p>"Nothing happens," he said. “What should happen?”</p><p>The demon fell silent and then crossed his arms. He only had to raise an eyebrow or remove his glasses to judge him.</p><p>“Speak, angel,”</p><p>"All right..., " he sighed, giving up. “My body is acting strange and I... I can't control it,”</p><p>The redhead approached, opened his mouth and then fell silent. What he was feeling in the air couldn’t be real. It couldn't be. It just couldn't be.</p><p>“I am very hot and suddenly my heart starts beating and my hands sweat and...”</p><p>"Aziraphale," he interrupted. “You really don't know what’s happening?”</p><p>“No...” He answered in fear. “I can't identify it. It's not good, I know that, but I don't think it's bad either. It doesn't feel like anger, though angels can't hate. It's not in our nature. So I deduce it's a complex feeling, but I don't understand why I...</p><p>"You feel lust, angel," The demon said firmly, convinced. “What you are describing it’s lust,”</p><p>The blonde looked at him as if he didn't know him. After several seconds he managed to articulate a small "Oh" with his lips, but without coming out of his surprise. How could he feel something that went completely against his nature? The angels were pure and chaste, lust was for him as the full conscience for fish. It just didn't exist in his vocabulary.</p><p>"Well, that, that is...," his bow tie was set up, "that explains a few things,”</p><p>“Like what?”</p><p>"Well, for starters, my body has behaved strangely since I read the books," he explained. “The human parts simply took on a life of their own, so I decided to remove them,”</p><p>“Human parts...?”</p><p>"My penis," he said simply; for him the body was just that: meat. He shouldn’t be ashamed. "I woke up and it was up, it hurt and it felt strange, so I took it off. I've been removing the liquids from my body the same way we eliminated alcohol,”</p><p>“And do you understand why that happens?”</p><p>“I didn't want to go to a doctor. Humans wouldn't understand my physiognomy. It's been simpler to take it off, although it's a little awkward to remember to empty my bladder all the time. If I didn't, the organic components would rot inside me and that could hurt me so...”</p><p>“What you had was an erection, Aziraphale. It's not a disease," he reassured him, without being able to believe the conversation they were having. “It happens as if it were a stimulus. When you get excited your nerve impulses send blood to your penis and it grows,”</p><p>“I haven't got excited!”</p><p>“Has it happened while you were reading the books?” Crowley asked, beginning to approach.</p><p>“Yes, but...”</p><p>“And have you had any strange dreams?” Came up to him, catching him against the small surface of the kitchen.</p><p>Their faces were close and the blonde's breath was uneven.<br/>The demon knew how to play that game. He'd played it for over three thousand years, and he knew how to win it.</p><p>“Crowley, please...”</p><p>A beg. He was begging for no reason. His cheeks were flushed and he was breathless, <em>and he was begging.</em></p><p>“Yes, angel?”</p><p>Aziraphale looked him in the eye. Those snake pupils would have no mercy. If he let him get to him he just couldn't stop him, he wouldn't have the necessary strength. Maybe he wouldn't even want to stop him. He’d Fall. He'd be tempted.<br/>The redhead carried one of his hands to the angel's cheek and caressed him delicately. Aziraphale closed his eyes when he felt the cold touch but did not turn away, and that was a sign. Crowley began to slowly approach him, willing to kiss him, to get carried away, but a shiver from the blond stopped him. He could feel it as if they were one, and his fear began to flood the air, almost like an acidic scent.<br/>The demon wouldn't allow it.</p><p>"Don't be afraid," Crowley told him, taking his cheeks to force him to look at him. “Do you want me to stop?” He let him go, ready to return to the front room. “I'm sorry, I got carried away. Let's go back, will you...?”</p><p>"No," Aziraphale interrupted him, clutching his arm, attracting him again. “No, it's okay,” He looked him in the eye, determined. “I want to do it,”</p><p>The demon thought he might have imagined it, so he just blinked. Was he dreaming? It wouldn't be the first time I'd dreamed of the angel.</p><p>“Aziraphale, it's okay. We can stop. I didn't want to torment you, I just got carried away, forgive me,”</p><p>"No, Crowley," he insisted, taking his face between his hands. “I want to do it. With you, I know I'll have nothing to fear. I want to do it, with you. Please...”</p><p>The demon slowly caught his lips in a chaste kiss, which managed to silence his emotions.</p><p>"Don't said please again," Crowley told him seriously. “I want it too. And I want you to understand that if you decide to stop it's okay, just push me or...”</p><p>Aziraphale grabbed him by the jacket, luring him again. He didn't want them to talk anymore. They had wasted a lot of time hesitating.</p><p>His lips collided gently and formed a small smile, which began to disappear as the kiss intensified. The angel took his hands to the demon's hip and apprehended him, not knowing what else to do with them, but knowing that he wanted him close, as much as he could. The redhead climbed up to his hair and running his fingers on him, feeling it soft and fluffy, as he had always imagined. Aziraphale smelled like books, cocoa and vanilla. So much that he felt sweetly intoxicated. When his tongues met the angel frowned for a second, but then he gave himself to that, determined to feel, not to think. Something in his body resisted and a little voice in his brain told him that it was wrong, that it was a sin, but he did his best to silence it. He didn't want anything to take him away from the demon, not even himself. He'd fight that strange presence. He would if Crowley kept kissing him that way.</p><p>"Dear," he called, as the demon kissed his cheek.</p><p>“Yes?”</p><p>“Can I take your jacket off?”</p><p>Crowley parted only a little, enough to enjoy the red face of Aziraphale. Then he looked at him very seriously and spoke, trying to make a very clear point.</p><p>"Angel, listen to me, " he said slowly. “You can do whatever you want with me,”</p><p>The blonde smiled funny. He was beginning to be aware of how much he was provoking in the demon, and that just left him speechless.<br/>Aziraphale removed the demon’s coat and took off his vest himself, leaving only his shirt, white and pristine. He let Crowley take off his bow tie and also open the first button, leaving his neck exposed, showing off some of his skin. Shyly he raised his hands to the demon's back and pressed sweetly. He felt Crowley's muscles, his shoulder blades and his arms, which ceded him tightly. He wanted to see his back, touch and caress. For some reason he didn't understand he wanted to see the demon naked.<br/>Crowley sensed that and broke up the kiss. Aziraphale frowned, but relaxed when he noticed that the demon was taking off his shirt, showing his chest, white, thin and perfect. His skin contrasted with the red of her hair and with her bright yellow eyes. He was so beautiful that it made him want to cry.</p><p>“What is it?” Crowley asked, noticing the angel’s quietly. “Are you all right?”</p><p>"You're beautiful...," he said almost without noticing it, as if he were just externalizing a thought.</p><p>Without being able to avoid it, the demon blushed. He didn’t remembered the last time that he had been looked with such devotion.</p><p>"You too," he said with a smile. “You are gorgeous, angel...</p><p>“Really?” He asked, lowering his gaze. “I know I'm not in good shape...”</p><p>Aziraphale suddenly recalled every time when as a woman people had talked about her body. She had never been ashamed, because she did not believe in human beauty standards. He knew that all of God's creations were perfect, but he also knew he had mistreated his body, and he would understand if Crowley disliked him. He could still remember the disgust on Gabriel face’s when he had watched him eat.</p><p>“Why do you say that?” The demon asked him, stroking his cheeks.</p><p>“I know I have sinned of gluttony. Gabriel told me...”</p><p>“Gabriel is an idiot,” the redhead concluded, earning a annoyed look from the angel. “It's the truth. He and anyone else who's said something like that to you had no idea what they're talking about,” he assured him, looking him in the eye. “You're perfect just the way you are. I like you, Aziraphale,” he stroked his cheeks, passing a naughty finger through his lips. “I like your small mouth and your bright eyes, and the way you smile with them. I like to look at you when you're distracted and when you put your hands together when you worry. <em>I like you</em>,”</p><p>The blonde felt a tear threaten to fall, but he held back. He didn't want to cry and alert the demon, even if it was for happiness. Something inside spread all over his body and comforted him. Now he knew exactly how he felt and knew how he wanted to prove it. There was no turning back.<br/>He took the demon by the neck and kissed him with impetus, trying to show desire, but only managing to look desperate. Crowley quickly responded and began to kiss him with more passion, faster, more love. All in the run for a few seconds.<br/>Aziraphale raised his head and set free way for the demon to come down to his neck, which he did almost immediately. The redhead licked, kissed and left small marks as he unbuttoned the angel's shirt, which bit his lips so as not to moan. Crowley pinned him against the counter and Aziraphale held on tight turning his knuckles white. He felt his body was about to explode, and all of a sudden he felt it. Something that crashed into his belly and squeezed him, but was not his, and again Crowley had blushed. His face completely lit and hot, and his lips swollen. His eyes staring at him like a wolf at a lamb, wanting to attack him. And then he understood all of a sudden.</p><p>"Angel," he called him panting. “We have to stop...”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled funny.</p><p>“Why?” He asked, simulating innocence.</p><p>“I can't resist it. I do have a human body, completely...” he explained.</p><p>The blonde kissed him cast and then looked down. The redhead followed his gaze and was surprised to notice that the angel also had a lump in his pants.<br/>Now they were both in trouble.</p><p>“Aziraphale...”</p><p>"I want to do it, Crowley," he said.</p><p>“My nature is demonic. What happens if I get carried away?” He asked, full of anguish. “I don't want to hurt you,”</p><p>"You would never hurt me, dear," he answered sweetly. “Stop thinking, okay?” He carried Crowley's hands to his hips and rested his own on his bare chest, feeling his heart. He rested his head on the demon's neck and approached him, ready to whisper in his ear what he could not say out loud. "I want you to take me, Crowley...," he said, trying to ward off his modesty. “Take me. I want to learn how pleasure feels... I want to be yours,”</p><p>Among humans, that might sound possessive, but among them it was like a small promise. A promise that they would be fine, together, without danger. They trusted each other, they wanted to turn themselves in. Only the two of them, discovering the gifts the earth had to offer them, just as they had been doing for six thousand years.<br/>They weren't supposed to be afraid anymore.</p><p>The demon removed the angel’s shirt and laughed when he discovered there was a small sleeveless T-shirt underneath. Aziraphale felt his cheeks burn. He’d forgotten how many layers he had on it.<br/>The blond let himself be done, and when he was naked, he used all his might not to look away. He hated being ashamed and didn't want that feeling to control him.<br/>Crowley went down his neck, grabbed him by the hips, put him on the counter and held him tightly, ready to devour him. With every second the air passed it became scarcer and his breaths stronger, so much so that Aziraphale wondered how fast a human heart could beat. Maybe he'd look for it later.<br/>He lowered his hands and tried awkwardly to unbutton Crowley's belt. He felt the bulge between his legs hurt and he wanted to get rid of it, and he wanted to free the demon too. Without thinking too much he lowered his pants and those of the redhead, who felt useless for a second. He thought he'd take that step.</p><p>"It's just very annoying," the blonde excused himself when he noticed the surprise on his partner's face. “Doesn't it hurt you?”</p><p>"It's normal," he said, and then smiled. "Close your eyes, angel, " he came up and whispered in his ear. “I will rid you of your pain...”</p><p>Crowley knew he wasn't ready for all he had to offer him yet, but he could deliver him that. A little taste of pleasure.<br/>Aziraphale closed his eyes and smiled as he felt the demon's tongue in his ear, coming down his neck, going up to his mouth. He groaned loudly when Crowley slipped a hand into his underwear and then threw a little choked cry when crow stroked his erection. A vibration swept through his entire body and he felt alert, alive like never before. All his tense muscles and his senses in full skin. As if the demon held him completely.</p><p>“For God's sake!" He exclaimed when the redhead squeezed him.</p><p>"Don't name her now," Crowley complained.</p><p>The demon continued to go up and down as he held the angel with his free hand, and pressed his teeth unconsciously when the blonde caught him with his hands, luring him. Aziraphale's eyes were tearful, his head was hidden in the other's neck and all he could do was moan. His ears were beating, his hands were sweating, and he passed them down Crowley's back, scratching him. His mind was clear but at the same time he could not stop at anything. His body overwhelmed him and the heat was suffocating him. Only one name appeared in his thoughts. A name he needed to shout.</p><p>“Crowley! Ah!” He exclaimed when he reached ecstasy, and felt it begin to collapse.</p><p>The demon took him in his arms so that he would not fall, and then slowly let go, taking his face into his hands. I wanted to see him. Admire the end of an orgasm in the perfect factions of Aziraphale.</p><p>"Calm down, breathe..." he said as he passed a hand across the angel’s forehead, taking away drops of perspiration. “Are you all right?”</p><p>The blonde didn't answer immediately. He felt his whole body burn and small spasms still shook him. It had been too much, simply too much.</p><p>"Yes...," he articulated when his voice came back to him.</p><p>Crowley smiled. He looked at it as if it were a work of art that he himself had created. And indeed, it was. The angel was a mess. A beautiful, beautiful mess.</p><p>"Crowley" he called after a few minutes. "You..." He looked down and the demon understood what he meant. "If you want, I can..."</p><p>"No," he replied, shaking his head, downplaying the pain in his own crotch. "Don’t worry"</p><p>“But I want to, really. I can do it "</p><p>He tried to get off the counter but suddenly his legs turned to jelly. The redhead took it hard and lifted it, completely amused.</p><p>"Come on" he said smiling. "I'll leave you in your room,"</p><p>Aziraphale didn’t refuse this time. His eyes were starting to close and he didn't even know if he could reach his bed of his own free will. He was tired, extremely tired.<br/>Crowley laid him on the bed, cleaned him with a little demonic miracle and covered him, ready to leave, but the blonde took his hand quickly, holding him back.</p><p>"Stay..." he asked sweetly.</p><p>The demon looked at him once more.<br/>There between the sheets it was the most beautiful being that he had seen, and with his eyes closed he was asking him to stay, his skin beaded with sweat and his voice still affected… <em>How could he say no?<br/></em>He lay down next to him, they facing each other, only inches apart.<br/>It was raining heavily outside and Crowley had hardly noticed it.</p><p>“How weird...” he commented. “They didn't forecast rain,”</p><p>"I may have had something to do with..." Aziraphale admitted with a little embarrassment. “Actually, I wasn't entirely honest with you. When I decided to extract that part of my body I did it because the library came to life, and strange things were happening without my being able to prevent them... ” He quickly detailed. "So I thought that if I got rid of it I would be able to control my... emotions," he concluded.</p><p>"Strange things?"</p><p>"Snow, storm, rainbows..."</p><p>"That is not strange. They would have thought it's the crazy weather here ”,</p><p>"Inside the bookstore",</p><p>"Oh..." <em>Oh</em>, that would be a bit difficult to explain. "And why do you think you managed to control it now?"</p><p>"I didn't" he replied, closing his eyes. "I just didn't control it",</p><p>Crowley smiled. He more than anyone understood that sometimes it is necessary to surrender to chaos to take control. He caressed the angel's cheek and allowed himself to be there with him, in the darkness of the night, with only the moonlight as their guide. Everything seemed especially magical. And suddenly Aziraphale smiled too.</p><p>"What's going on?" the demon asked.</p><p>"I can feel it"</p><p>"What thing?"</p><p>"Your love"</p><p>The demon held its breath. He couldn't help it. The image of the angel, so calm and relaxed with tousled hair and bare skin was too much for him. He couldn't not love him.</p><p>"Why are you ashamed?" the blond asked, looking into his eyes.</p><p>"It is not in the nature of a demon to feel love",</p><p>Aziraphale, amused and confident, approached him and brought his lips together, leaving a chaste kiss on them.</p><p>"And it is not in the nature of an angel to feel lust" he told him in a whisper. "And yet here you see me"</p><p>They both smiled. His breaths relaxed again and the discomfort faded. It was just them again. Until something on the demon's face changed. His thoughts haunted him and struck him, rendering him defenceless. He had tempted Aziraphale and he had fallen. What would happen now?</p><p>"Angel" he called out, his voice filled with anguish. "Do you think... they try to hurt you?"</p><p>"Why you say that?"</p><p>“Well, in theory you have succumbed to temptation. Before the sin of the flesh,” he spoke, completely concerned. "What if they make you fall?" he asked painfully. “I wouldn't let that happen, you know that, right? I will not allow them to harm you,"</p><p>"Crowley..."</p><p>“We did wrong, we shouldn't have. I shouldn't have. They may be watching. They could be spying on us right now, "</p><p>"Crowley!" he said seriously. "Calm down, darling. We did nothing wrong. You did nothing wrong, how can you say that?" He looked into his eyes. “What we did we did it together, and I wanted to do it. You didn't force me or tempt me, so erase those silly thoughts. We'll be fine... "he assured him.</p><p>"And If not?"</p><p>Aziraphale put a hand to the redhead's cheek and tried to clear his mind. He was scared too, but he wasn't going to let it consume him. He wasn't going to allow it, not this time.</p><p>“Well then we will figure it out. But not now ”, he sentenced, making it clear that he did not want to talk about it anymore. "Now it's just you and me,"</p><p>Aziraphale settled into the gap between the demon's neck and chest and settled down to sleep, caressing his partner's body, tracing paths on the skin with his fingers. After a while, Crowley's muscles relaxed and his breathing deepened, signalling that he had fallen asleep, and although Aziraphale was not used to sleeping, he closed his eyes, confident that he would be able to fall now.</p><p>Tomorrow they could think of more battles to fight and more ends of the world to stop. But now it was just the two of them, in their room, holding each other.<br/>The two of them against the rest of the world.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! I hope you liked it!<br/>Remember that I don't speak English, so let me know if there are any mistakes in the translation!<br/>Cheers!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Theatre</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Crowley wasn't enjoying the show.</p><p>“Can you see his passion?” Aziraphale was asked by the man sitting next to him. “I'm excited. Isn't that wonderful?”</p><p><em>They</em> had begun to speak since the curtain had gone up, and the demon hated it. The angel had inadvertently pushed the man into the line of the entrances, had apologised with all his kindness, and then <em>he</em> had stuck to them like a fly. He followed them to the seats, sat next to the blonde, and began whispering in his ear comments that apparently both found very funny. Aziraphale was nodding and smiling at him.<br/>Crowley wanted to kill him.</p><p>It was the fifth date he had with the angel. He  had taken him to lunch, they had spent whole nights talking in the bookstore with wine in between, they had even had a picnic! And the demon thought a visit to the theatre wouldn't be a bad idea. He couldn't remember the last time he had attended, and he knew Aziraphale loved it. It couldn't be that bad, could it? Surely the plays had improved long after Shakespeare. But now he could not concentrate on the work, nor on the angel, or anything other than to find a way to get that human off his back.<br/>He <em>really</em> wanted to kill him.</p><p>"Really touching," replied the blonde. “Do you come to the theatre often?”</p><p>"It's like my second house," he smiled. “I was an actor in my teens. I played Hamlet,”</p><p>“Oh, how wonderful!” He turned to the redhead. “Did you hear that, dear? Tom played Hamlet. Isn't that amazing? With all that text and those tricky words,”</p><p>"Sure, unbelievable," the demon replied, almost spitting out the answer.</p><p>"It wasn't really that hard," the man bragged. “The tricky thing was to get into the locker room,”</p><p>"Oh, believe me, I understand you," Aziraphale replied. “I've been there,”</p><p><em>Sssshhhhh! <br/></em>They were silenced by a woman in the background, very upset with their unwelcome talk. Crowley wanted to go to her and bless her. He was completely grateful to her.<br/>After being scolded, Tom and the angel were silently left enjoying the play. The actors were immersed in their roles and the staging seemed incredibly real. Aziraphale could feel that he was in the Middle Ages again, with those uncomfortable clothes and a lot of flies everywhere. Dirty, smelly, disgusting… On second thought, the scene looked <em>terribly</em> real.<br/>When it was over, Tom got up to clap and incited the blonde to do the same. He even grazed the angel’s wrist as he tried to take his hand to lift him up.<br/>Crowley was definitely going to kill him if he had a chance.</p><p>"I can recommend you other plays, if you like," he told the angel while they were leaving.</p><p>“Oh, that would be very kind of you,”</p><p>“Can I have your number? Or I can give you mine…”</p><p>The redhead buffoned.</p><p>"It won't be necessary," he told him, taking a step forward.</p><p>Tom stopped for a moment to look at him, and then smiled, malicious. He wasn't going to give up so fast. That was a prize worth fighting for.</p><p>"Well, I think that should be decided by him, not you," he turned his gaze to the angel. “What do you say?”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled nervously and then took the demon by the arm to push him away from the man. He looked like a mad dog about to attack, and he knew he wasn´t going to threaten him, he was going to bite him.</p><p>“Get in the car, dear,”</p><p>"Angel...," he replied, annoyed.</p><p>“Go, I'll be there in a moment,”</p><p>Tom smiled at him, showing his teeth, and watched him go gracefully. Crowley entered the car, closed the door tightly and turned the radio to full volume, quickly tuning into a Queen’s song. He could feel his body heat rise and his claws closing around the steering wheel. The blonde had kicked him out, and now he was talking to that stupid human. <em>He couldn't believe he had kicked him out.</em></p><p>Crowley looked at them in the distance and tried to read their lips, but was unsuccessful. The only one who was talking was the man and the angel only was nodding and smiling, until from one moment to the next, he stopped smiling. Tom approached him and whispered something in his ear. Aziraphale's face dyed red and his body immediately walked away when the human wanted to take his arm. Before leaving he turned, told him something with a very angry expression, and kept walking towards the car with a determined step. The man behind him wanted to yell something hurtful at him, but was interrupted by a car that, passing full throttle over a pool of water, took care of bathing him completely.</p><p>A demonic little miracle.</p><p>The blonde got into the Bentley, sighed and looked out the window. Crowley knew something wasn't right, but he decided not to ask him right away. Aziraphale needed his time. He knew him better than anyone.</p><p>"I'm sorry," The angel told him when they stopped at a traffic light, almost fifteen minutes later. "I thought he was just trying to be nice,”</p><p>“And it wasn't?”</p><p>The angel looked at him, annoyed.</p><p>"I really don't know," the demon replied. "You asked me to leave, so I didn't hear that much,”</p><p>"Don't take it that way," he told him, feeling guilty. "I just want you to understand that I don't need you to protect me. I've lived many years without you.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, of course! it's not like I had to save your ass in France and in a church full of Nazis, and in Heaven,”</p><p>“Oh, are we doing that?” Aziraphale asked, now very annoyed. "Because if we're going to point our finger at each other, I must say that I went down to hell for you, too. Are you mad at me for helping me?”</p><p>“It's not that, angel...”</p><p>"I must remind you that I never asked for your help,”</p><p>“No, it’s just...”</p><p>"And in any case," he interrupted him “We both agreed. Or at least I thought so!”</p><p>“Of course it's not that! What stupidity are you saying?” He stopped the Bentley out of the library without even noticing it. “How can you think such a thing?”</p><p>“Well then I don't understand why you're mad at me!”</p><p>“I'm not mad at you! I'm mad at that human!” He exclaimed. “And yes, all right, also with you! You, always...” He hit the steering wheel and threw a growl. “You don't care!”</p><p>Aziraphale watched him silently.<br/>It took him almost a whole minute to gather enough courage to speak again.</p><p>“What do you mean I don't care?”</p><p>“Forget it,”</p><p>“We won't solve this if you don't talk to me,”</p><p>“I don't want to argue,”</p><p>"Then let's not argue," he replied calmly. “Just talk to me,”</p><p>Crowley refused to look at him. He knew if he did the angel's eyes would make him melt, and a part of him didn't want that. Inside him he knew it was time. He couldn't go on for another thousands of years like that.<br/>Spite is a feeling that accumulates too much and too quickly.</p><p>"I'm always the one after you," he finally said. “And it's not that it bothers me, but sometimes I feel like... you don't care. This relationship, you and I…” He sighed. “Would you have cared if I was the one talking to someone else? If anyone comes near me to flirt with me,” He spoke an angry way. “Would you mind if I decided to look for someone else? I, just...” He turned to him and looked him in the eye, trying to put aside his cowardice. “I couldn't bear to see you with someone else. I know there are others out there better than me and that they would kill for being in my place, and I'm afraid that one day you'll realize it and you’ll leave me,”</p><p>The blonde noticed that his gaze was beginning to cloud. He knew the demon was opening his heart and that moved him, but on the other hand he was very upset with himself. He couldn't believe he let him feel that way. He was completely guilty.</p><p>“Crowley...”</p><p>"Forget it, angel," he looked away. “It's stupid. I just felt jealous, I'm a demon after all," he smiled in pain. “I apologize, okay? Can we forget it?”</p><p>"Listen to me," Aziraphale began. “I am the one who must apologize. Oh, Crowley, I'm sorry,” He took the redhead’s chin and forced him to look at him. “I'm so sorry, okay? I’m sorry about everything. You're right, I don't try hard enough. I think I always thought you knew, or maybe it was enough for me to know,” he thought aloud, feeling more guilty with every word. "I thought you knew how important this is to me. I thought we both understood it...” He looked him right in the eye, and hesitated to take his hand, but then he did. “There's only one place in my heart and there you are, dear, you've always been. That human or anyone else can never replace you,”</p><p>Crowley tried to bend down his head, but the angel stopped him. He placed a hand on his cheek and raised him again, being a few inches from each other. And then Aziraphale knew. In all those years he had asked a lot and had delivered very little.</p><p>"I only talked to him because I found him interesting, I didn't think you'd feel that way. It doesn't mean anything, dear. No one is like you...” he stroked his face. “No one will ever be like you,”</p><p>"Forgive me, " repeated the demon. “I've been a fool. Of course I do. I know you care,”</p><p>“How could you know?” He approached. “I've taken too many things for fact when I shouldn't have. I love you, Crowley, I don't want you to think otherwise,”</p><p>The blonde took his partner's face into his hands and disappeared the little space that still remained between them. He kissed him slowly, wanting to said to him everything he hadn't been say in those thousands of years. He opened his mouth and let the demon introduce his tongue and prove him, play with his lips as he pleased. He wanted to turn himself in. Let him know it was just his, that they belonged to each other, that they couldn't fight that… and that he didn't want to.<br/>Aziraphale lowered his mouth and kissed the demon’s neck. He came even closer and take him of his shoulders, uncomfortable by the amount of clothes they had on them. Almost without thinking, he took the redhead’s jacket and removed his coat himself. He wanted more and more and more.<br/>In the Bentley a distant voice was singing a known song, but they no longer listened to it. All Aziraphale could hear was his own breathing and the one of the demon, colliding, with breaths of air that were necessary and the sinful sound of their mouths devouring each other. The heat was going up and it became impossible to breathe. Their hearts beating frantic. He climbed on Crowley's lap and then the demon took him hard, trying to keep the angel's hip from compressing against the steering wheel. He introduced his hands under Aziraphale vest and shirt, amusing of the well-known capes. He raised his free hand to the blond hair, delighted for touching it. He let his companion down his neck and open his shirt, and let out a rasping groan that, much to his regret, managed to colour his cheeks. When Aziraphale slightly sucked his skin, he lowered his hands and grabbed him from his ass, squeezing, attracting him. His erections collided and the angel groaned loudly. It wasn't the first time they'd done something like that, but he was still very new to pleasure, and it bothered him. He wanted to indulge the demon. He wanted to give him everything he could.</p><p>"Dear, please..." he gasped. “Do you want to... you want to come in?”</p><p>Crowley let him go and let the blonde lie on the steering wheel, only to observe him carefully. His clothes were open, his face blushing, his eyes shiny and his lips swollen. He’ve never seen anything so beautiful in his life.</p><p>“No...” He told him slowly, forcing himself. “I don't want it to be like this,”</p><p>"I'm not afraid," the angel said. “I want to do it,”</p><p>"I know you want to," Crowley smiled. "I want it too, but not like this....” He stroked the blond's sweaty hair. “I want it to be special,”</p><p>Aziraphale observed his eyes. He could feel love in the air, and he knew that everything would still be there forever, but he still wanted to say it out loud. Now he knew it was necessary to let him know.</p><p>"I love you," he gathered his foreheads and closed his eyes. “I love you too much,”</p><p>The demon smiled, completely in love. Completely ecstatic.</p><p>"I know, angel...," he replied pleasedly. “I know, so do I"</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi! I hope you liked it.<br/>Remember that I don't speak English, so let me know if there are any mistakes in the translation!<br/>Cheers!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Temptation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He could feel his body sweating, going up and down, in a constantly moving set of furs. A woman moaned in another room and could hear her clearly, just like the one underneath him, panting, pulling his hair. He could feel his soft hands touching him with beastly, scratching his back, exclaiming his name. And all of a sudden he was also moaning a well-known name, and it wasn’t no longer a woman he ramming, but a man. An angel with white hair and light eyes, who was stared at him and wept with pleasure. Again and again, he moaned, reached ecstasy and cried, in a vicious circle.</p><p>“Crowley!”</p><p>But the demon couldn't stop. He wanted to do it but he couldn't, and despair was beginning to invade him. Aziraphale tried to catch him but everything around him was fading, and his call became stronger, clearer, more shocking. And he could only turn himself in.</p><p>"Crowley, dear..." whispered the blond. “Wake up,”</p><p>The redhead opened his eyes and took a deep breath. His back hurt and his head was still spinning. His flushed cheeks were a sign that alcohol had not yet left his body, and he did not even remember falling asleep in the bookshop chair.</p><p>“Are you all right?” The angel asked. "You were moving strangely, I thought you had a nightmare,”</p><p>"Yes, a nightmare," he lied, as he closed his eyes to drain the alcohol from his blood. “What time is it?”</p><p>“It's almost midnight. I wanted to wake you up but I didn't have the courage to do it, you looked so calm before this dream, I even thought about...” Suddenly, the blonde was silenced. “Oh,”</p><p>His eyes veered down and the demon followed them to his trousers. He quickly took a pillow and covered himself with it, trying to hide. He really wanted Lucifer to show up to take him to some of hell's circles. It couldn't be worse than that.</p><p>"Don't be ashamed," Aziraphale said quickly, trying to downplay it. “It happens to me all the time. I did some research and apparently it's very normal. We're a couple after all,”</p><p>Okay, that was too much information to process.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“I also have... that kind of dreams," he explained, completely blushing. “You know. With you,”</p><p>“With me?”</p><p>Aziraphale frowned.</p><p>“I'm not going to tell you my dreams, Crowley,”</p><p>The demon smiled, much more comfortable with the situation.</p><p>“I'd love for you to do it,”</p><p>Whenever he had command he felt ready to face anything, even his angel's modesty. He was having fun turning things around. He had gone from shame to overwhelming safety in less than five seconds, and that made him bold and dangerous. Completely dangerous. Charmingly dangerous.<br/>The blonde snorted and rolled his eyes. He wasn't going to talk, don’t even if he tortured him.</p><p>"Okay, don't tell me...” the demon came up to him, still on the couch, cornering him. "I think I'll find out for myself,”</p><p>“Crowley...,”</p><p>"Tell me, angel...” He came even closer, hypnotizing his companion with his yellow eyes and his malicious smile. “Do I do this in your dreams?” He rested one of his hands on the blond´s cheek, in a completely innocent touch. “Do I caress you gently?”</p><p>Aziraphale was silent. Anything he said would be used against him. There was no way he'd win. It was a battle from lose or lose.</p><p>“Are we here at the bookshop?” With his thumb he stroked the angel's lower lip. “Are we in my car?” He approached slowly, leaving a delicate kiss in the corner of the little pink mouth. "I'd love for us to make love in my car...," he whispered.</p><p>The blond sighed. He could feel stabbing pain in his crotch and a tingling that was beginning to rise through his body, from the mouth of his stomach to his face, as if his blood flowed with intensity. When Crowley left a kiss on his chin he breathed hard and grabbed him by the arm, squeezing him. He needed him to go on. He wanted to regain control over his body, but he knew it didn't belong to him anymore.<br/><em>Yes, that was torture. <br/></em>The demon began to kiss his neck, with one hand still on his cheek and the other on his hip. Aziraphale didn't know what to do with his own, so he took the pillow Crowley had previously held and squeezed it until his knuckles took on a white colour. The snake's tongue was skilful, leaving a damp trail wherever it passed. It made him want to scream. Pleasure accumulated in his body and he wanted to moan, but he also wanted to learn to play. The demon was neither slow nor foolish, and knew how and where to touch. Since that last time in the Bentley Aziraphale had been researching, and although he had not learned much, he did have two things very clearly. First: Crowley liked him to moan. That lit something in his eyes and he acted particularly happy when he got it, and that's why Aziraphale had to avoid it, just so as not to please him. And the second was something that frightened him, but he wanted to try anyway.<br/><em>You're only good at practice.</em></p><p>He walked away from the demon long enough to stand face to face, and after observing his confused eyes for a second, he smiled pleasedly. He then set out to kiss him fiercely, and there the redhead knew something was wrong. That wasn't the shy and modest angel he knew. The atmosphere was starting to turn hot, outside he could hear the first thunder of a big storm and the lights in the bookshop flashed. If he was right, and believed he was, Aziraphale was experiencing sensations that conflicted with his angelic essence. It was not worthy of an angel to feel individual love, pleasure or lust.<br/>It was forbidden. He'd be damned. They both would be.</p><p>"No, stop...,” the demon asked.</p><p>“It’s all right?”</p><p>“We can't,”</p><p>“Why?” He asked almost sadly.</p><p>God, how hard it would be to say no to that image. To an Aziraphale with swollen lips and dilated pupils. How easy their roles had changed. Now he was being tortured.</p><p>“It's dangerous, Angel. They may be watching us,”</p><p>“Do we have to talk about this again?” He asked in an annoying tone. “I don't care, Crowley. Nobody's going to punish us for this,”</p><p>"Yes, they will," he assured him. “They'll make you fall, and I can't let that happen. You don't belong down there,”</p><p>"Neither did you," he said, determined. "Listen to me...," he took the redhead's face in his hands and looked him directly in the eye. “I don't care. You can do whatever you want with me. I'm not afraid of falling anymore. And besides...” He smiled, lost in those yellow eyes. “It would be worth falling for you,”</p><p>“Angel...” Crowley started.  </p><p>“Kiss me, darling. Please. I don't want us to be afraid, I want you to kiss me and make me forget everything. Make me feel human...” He came up to him and left a chaste kiss on his lips. “Tonight let's just play human beings,”</p><p>The demon nodded slowly and let his companion kiss him gently.<br/>After all this time it finally happened. He had to stop thinking and just drop.<br/>Let himself fall into temptation.</p><p>After a few minutes, their tongues began to ask permission, and they smiled for an instant before kissing again, much deeper than before. Aziraphale took Crowley's jacket and used it to propel himself, rising on his lap. The demon, pleasantly surprised, surrounded his waist and stroked his back. Like that time in the Bentley, the angel had taken initiative, and the demon was beginning to think he liked it that way. Crowley took off his vest and unbuttoned some buttons on his shirt, leaving small kisses wherever he passed. The blond's hands went down, trembling, looking for his companion's belt. Still in that kiss, he tried to remove it quickly, but only got it when the redhead stroked his hair, reassuring him. He had to go slow. There was no reason to be nervous. It was them. Just them. He put a hand in his black pants and got Crowley to open his mouth in a small "o", causing him great tenderness. Now he understood why he liked playing with him so much.</p><p>"Angel," he called him in a choppy voice, placing his own hand on Aziraphale's.</p><p>“Am I doing it wrong?” He asked, worried.</p><p>He remembered the way the demon had touched him, and he wanted him to feel as good as he had made him feel. He wanted to give instead of just receiving. He needed to try.</p><p>"For God's sake," Crowley exclaimed when the blonde squeezed him.</p><p>Aziraphale smiled.</p><p>"Don't name her now," he complained, mocking him.</p><p>Still upon him, the angel continued to go up and down, caressing that sensitive part of his partner's body and squeezing. The demon dropped his head back and groaned. He surrounded the blonde's hip and attracted him tightly, kissing him, moaning more on his lips. Aziraphale simply admired him in a marvel. Crowley's cheeks looked like two apples and his forehead was pearled by sweat. His lips widened, breathing choppy, his eyes closed. He thought it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.</p><p>“Aziraphale! I'm going to...” He said aloud, without being able to avoid the ecstasy that hit him instantly.</p><p>The angel felt a hot substance glide down his fingers, and to the demon's body beneath him shaking through the spasms of orgasm. When the redhead opened his eyes, he smiled satisfied. Aziraphale thought that was lovely.</p><p>“Are you all right?” Asked the blond with sweetness.</p><p>The yellow eyes looked big, dark and deep. Something ancient and almost animal was in them. Quickly, Crowley took him from the back of his head and joined his lips, devouring them ferociously. Something in him had awakened. He took Aziraphale off his lap and made him get up, still kissing him for a second. He removed his jacket and shirt and trying to do the same with his partner, wanting to unbutton the last remaining buttons. However, he stopped when he noticed that the angel looked away. He took his face gently and carried it against a wall, grabbing him between his body and the book ledge behind him. He understood what was going on, but he wouldn't let it happen.</p><p>"I don't want you to be ashamed," he told him seriously. “You're beautiful,”</p><p>Aziraphale snorted slightly.</p><p>"Your body drive me crazy, angel...," he approached him to begin kissing his neck, knowing that that eroticized him completely. "You have no idea how many years I wanted to have you like this," he began slowly unbuttoning the remaining buttons. "Against a wall, at my mercy...” He smiled as he slipped the white shirt down of his partner’s soft shoulders. “I dreamed of you moaning among these books. Shouting my name,”</p><p>The blonde's face went entirely red. He watched the demon come down to his chest and closed his eyes when Crowley licked one of his nipples. He instinctively took both hands to the red hair and pulled him, pleased. All those sensations were overwhelmed him. Crowley's nimble hands began to lower his trousers, and he drew with his bifida tongue a journey to the beginning of his belly. The angel's skin had him in the clouds. So delicate, so soft; exactly as he had imagined him, and at once better. Much better.<br/>Aziraphale seemed like a dream he didn't want to wake up from.</p><p>“Ah! Crowley!" he exclaimed when he felt the demon's breath between his legs.</p><p>And then he drowned out a scream when he felt his mouth wrapping it.<br/>He pulled his lover’s hair hard again and bit his lips. His legs felt weak, as if at any time they were going to fell to the ground. His body was simply no longer his, he only responded to the stimuli the demon demanded of him. To the same demon who now held his hip to bring him closer, opening his mouth, playing with his tongue. He could feel the heat hugging him and a swirl forming in his belly, which was beginning to rise up his body and burn it. He was burning in a sinful fire that he couldn't and didn't want to put out.</p><p>“Crowley!” He shouted, reaching his release, squeezing his toes and teeth, feeling his lungs try to replenish air without success.</p><p>And then only one thought managed to form in his mind. A name that came and went again, and the acute pain when the demon let him go to take it in his arms.<br/>That had simply been too much. He felt sticky and dirty. Crowley's legs collided with his own, with his body, and the angel wanted to be on top of him, to feel it completely. The demon gently kissed him, making him panting, and when he opened his eyes he discovered that they were both in his room, on his bed. He on top of the redhead, with his hands on the side of his shoulders, like an animal devouring his prey. When had the roles changed?</p><p>"It wasn't me..., " smiled Crowley at the confused look of the blond.</p><p>But he already knew. He knew it was his work, his body, or his soul; of that sincere, fully surrendered part who was no longer self-aware or anything else. Only of the demon's breathing, of his eyes, of how much he wanted to feel it.<br/>He didn't want to stop. He wanted more, he demanded more. He couldn't stop.</p><p>Crowley devoted himself to observing him, marvelling. The angel was shining. His eyes shone like never before, his hair was messy, his whole body bathed in sweat, completely reddened, blushing, beautiful. He carried a hand to his partner’s hip and turned them, becoming on top, appreciated him even more. He wanted to kiss him. Every inch of skin. He wanted to bite him, squeeze him. He wanted him to cry with pleasure and make his dream real. He needed it to be real.</p><p>"Aziraphale... " he whispered, knowing that he angel would understand him without saying anything.</p><p>The blonde opened his legs, giving him permission.</p><p>"Maybe it would be better if you changed your body," the demon suggested. “I don't want to hurt you,”</p><p>“No. I feel... I feel comfortable like this,” he said without shame. "I know how to do it, Crowley. I was in Rome,”</p><p>The demon smiled. Of course he knew, but he had more experience, and he thought it might hurt less in a woman's body. But if the angel preferred it that way, he was fine with that. He just didn't want to hurt him. He had to prepare him.<br/>With a little demonic miracle, a container appeared and he opened it. He passed his fingers through the lubricant and threw himself to kiss the blond, who did not want to ask anything. He knew his lover wouldn't hurt him. He trusted him.</p><p>"Oh..." Aziraphale closed his eyes when he felt the cold touch at his entrance.</p><p>He put a hand on the sheets and pulled them. When the first finger entered his body he felt completely strained, unable to accept it. Crowley carried a hand to his dick and came down to kiss his neck. If he stimulated him enough, it would stop hurting. It would only be a few minutes. Then he’d make him ask for more. Then it would all be pleasure. The demon introduced a second finger. He kept going down and up Aziraphale's erection, kissing him gently, trying to make him forget.</p><p>“Ah! Crowley!” the angel shouted when he felt a third intruder finger opening him.</p><p>He carried one of his hands behind the demon's back and held from there. He wanted to scratch him and hit him. He needed more. He wanted it now.</p><p>"Dear, please...” He gasped with bright eyes. “Please...”</p><p>The redhead smiled. It was finally time. He carefully aligned himself with him and kissed him voraciously. In the middle of the kiss he entered him and groaned with Aziraphale when he threw his head back in search of air. The demon took the white hips and lifted it to give it a better position. The angel groaned, gasped, and struggled to breathe. In a vicious circle of brazen lust. He didn't think he could get out of there. He needed to stay forever. Crowley began to gently ram him when he noticed that the blonde's body was relaxing. They could feel their bellies coming together, their hearts pumping blood and the thick smell of the room. Full of drowned screams and moans halfway, but they wanted more. They wanted much more. Crowley began to ram him harder, faster, harder. And he only smiled when the angel screamed. <em>There it was.</em></p><p>“More!” Aziraphale groaned. “More! Crowley!”</p><p>They kissed and groaned together. They could feel their bodies burn, in a sway that increased, called for ecstasy and burst, taking them away. The angel scratched his lover's back and let himself go. A tingling began to travel of him and seconds later he felt the demon coming inside him, hot, damp, sliding down his legs. He didn't want to open his eyes, he still wanted to feel him, and he hugged Crowley tightly when he wanted to retire. He needed him to stay. He didn't want to be alone.</p><p>"Angel..." whispered the demon, taking his face. “Look at me,”</p><p>His clear eyes opened slowly. Little tears came out of them. The small lips had bites, and when Aziraphale spoke, his voice was heard hoarse, worn out.</p><p>"I love you...," he said sweetly.</p><p>The demon smiled.</p><p>“I love you too,”</p><p>After a moment Crowley slowly came out and Aziraphale gasped silently. Without the redhead, a void formed inside him, calling him back, as if it belonged there. Their bodies now seemed more united than ever. As if they knew their movements deeply.<br/>They lay down next to each other and looked at their eyes. Silence reigned among them as an agreement, and the demon stroked the angel's cheek, still not being able to believe it. He loved him so much that it even hurt. He couldn't understand it.</p><p>Outside it rained hard, as if the end of the world had broken loose again; and the angel blushed, ashamed.</p><p>"Well," began the demon with a smile, pointing towards the window. “I'll take that as a compliment,”</p><p>Aziraphale buffooned, outraged.</p><p>"You don't stay behind," he mocked. “How many times have you dreamed of this? In the car, in the bookshop, I'm surprised you didn't take me in church that time!”</p><p>"Oh, I thought about it, but the debris would have been uncomfortable,”</p><p>The angel beat him gently.</p><p>“You're a fool,”</p><p>"I've wanted this since that time in the bastille, or maybe before...” The demon stroked the white cheek that now was blushing. "Rip that bow tie off, take you in my arms, take you away...," he smiled. “I've wanted you for six thousand years,”</p><p>The blonde smiled back and slowly rose over him. Those yellow eyes didn't lie, nor did he want to lie to himself. He'd wanted it too, longer than he thought.</p><p>"Thank you," he whispered.</p><p>The demon raised an eyebrow.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“For making me feel alive... desired, loved, happy... For everything you've given me. I love you. I love you too much,”</p><p>"Me too, Angel...” He sighed as he looked at his eyes. “I love you too,”</p><p>They re-joined their lips in a chaste kiss that gradually began to grow. Crowley pulled the sheets to cover them both, and slowly they began to join, much safer than ever before.</p><p>Outside a thunderstorm would hit the city and the next day a rainbow of brightly bright colours would amaze everyone.<br/>It would be a voracious night and a lovely morning.</p><p>What forecast can be better for a promise of love?</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello! I hope you liked it.<br/>Remember that I don't speak English, so let me know if there are any mistakes in the translation!<br/>Cheers!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Betrayal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Aziraphale was sorting his books, trying to have a recount of them for his forms. He ran a meticulous organization and hated losing specimens among others. Everything had to have a place and stay there. Though the place looked disastrous, he understood himself in his disaster; it was the customers who messed up the bookshop, with the silly idea of wanting to buy and take one of his precious manuscripts.<br/>He still kept the box he had been donated, filled with the books Crowley had recommended him. He took one in his hands and looked at it. His cheeks blushed completely, recalling that time when the demon had trapped him in the kitchen, prey to a small panic attack for feeling excited. Completely out of his own, not knowing what to do. And he remembered the first kiss, and the first time... he’d never forget it. Everything now belonged to him just like the redhead's love. How could he forget?</p><p>He hid the box behind the last shelf, hoping that no one would find them, and paid no attention to the carpet, which was beginning to shine brightly. He was so worried about hiding that source of modesty that he didn't hear it, nor did he realize the cold feeling that now covered the place. He simply thought he had left a window open, though it was strange at that time of year. Spring was near, but he was in London after all, when was the weather good there?</p><p>"Maybe I should tell Crowley to take them," he thought aloud.</p><p>“Oh yes, you should definitely get rid of them,”</p><p>The angel opened his eyes and took a hand to his chest. Suddenly an icy gust pierced him like a dagger and his heart stopped, prey to fear. He had prepared for that, and yet now felt glued to the ground, unable to move. He took a quick look at the phone. He was just a few steps away. Maybe he could get to him and call him. He could tell the demon, tell him he was sorry, that he loved him, that he would never forget him. <em>Please...</em> He Begged. <em>I wanted to see him, hear his voice. Just one last time.</em></p><p>"I'm afraid it won't be possible," the archangel told him, disappearing the device before Aziraphale could take it off. “We must go. Heaven is waiting for us,”</p><p>With a smile on his lips, Gabriel raised his head and uttered an ancient word in the tongue of the angels, an ancestral jargon that the blonde no longer remembered. Suddenly, almost in the second that lasted a blink, he was in a white, bright, empty and huge place. His head was spinning and he wanted to throw up. He didn't understand how his body had endured teleportation, but he touched his face and chest, making sure. He looked everywhere for someone, whoever he went, but he discovered himself alone, locked up, with nowhere to go. It was not cold or hot, nor was there anything but overwhelming immensity.<br/>Heaven was just as scary as he remembered.</p><p>"Welcome," Gabriel said. “You remember Sandalphon, right?”</p><p>The plump angel smiled at him. Next to him, Uriel watched him with hate and Michael had a grimace of grace, almost as if to say "We have you." Aziraphale knew he couldn't run, simply because there was nothing there but him and them. And that terrified him. There was no mercy and he knew it. There were no games this time.</p><p>“Are you scared?” Michael asked with a fake surprise. “Do you want me to call your boyfriend?”</p><p>“Where's Crowley?” He asked desperately. “What did you do with him? If you hurt him I swear to you that...”</p><p>“Do you swear?” Uriel interrupted him, approaching him dangerously. “Do you have the brazen of swearing? Just as you swore to be faithful to our Lord?”</p><p>The blonde was silent. He knew he was about to touch the fire. But anyway, he was already there. He had nothing to lose.</p><p>"I never gave my word, I was made," he spat. “I would never give my loyalty to someone who abandons their children.</p><p>"Tell me, Aziraphale...," Gabriel began, ignoring him. “What happened for an angel like you to fall into the temptation of the flesh?” He smiled at noticing the fear on the blonde's face. “Oh yes, we know. Did you think we'd just leave you alone? We followed you. You've been a sinner all your life, but that...” He frowned. “Carnal sin is too much, even for you,”</p><p>“Just look at him!” Michael exclaimed. “He is consumed by gluttony. No wonder he fell. We should have kicked him out a long time ago,”</p><p>The blonde started thinking about Crowley and how much he wanted to see him. His body felt attached to him, perhaps he could. Maybe he'd find him if he concentrated. He could send him one last message before he die. Tell him to please forgive him, that he didn't want to leave him alone. Without being able to avoid it a tear ran down his cheek while he felt his soul break. The last thing he had said to the demon had been that he would see him at night, that maybe they could go to the theatre or the cinema, or go back to dinner at the Ritz. He needed to let him know that he wouldn't arrived, that he loved him, that he wanted him to get on with his life, not to do anything crazy.</p><p>“What are you doing?" Asked a confused Gabriel.</p><p>"He's crying," Sandalphon explained. “It's a human reaction. Crying is the greatest demonstration of sadness,”</p><p>The archangel devoted himself to observing him for several seconds, not understanding why an angelic being would do that. For him it was all very clear. He had been created with a purpose and that directed his life. A deviation had to be punished, and the punishment for what Aziraphale had done was severe, so it should be. That's how it was written. There was nothing to cry about.</p><p>"Since we haven't been able to destroy you, we've decided to make you fall," he informed him, even in a thoughtful state. “You will never be able to return to Heaven, and from now on you will belong to Hell, work for Lucifer and do as you are commanded,”</p><p>“No...” Whispered the blond.</p><p>“What?” Uriel snapped.</p><p>“No!” Aziraphale shouted, furious. “It's my life! I won't let you or any other angel or demon take it away from me! I want to do what I decide! I won't obey again! No more!</p><p>“Damn heretic angel!” Michael answered, his voice full of anger.</p><p>With a quick movement of his hand, he got the principality to fall to his knees. The blonde groaned in pain, feeling his body burn slowly. He rested his hands on the floor and saw his blackened skin, his eyes turning dark in the reflection of the ground. His soul abandoning him. Nothing belonged to him anymore and despair took hold of him, letting in hatred and fear. Its essence disappearing, being replaced by something else, much darker and scarier. Part of him was dying, letting another come to life.</p><p>“You will respect the word of God!” Michael shouted, about to close his hand for the final blow.</p><p>Suddenly a gust of air entered the room, caressing Aziraphale's body, giving him a breath of life, luring him into the light. The angels immediately retreated and walked away from him, as if a circle of hellfire had locked him up. But it wasn't fire, it was glitter. A glow that blinded them, leaving them weak. And everywhere and nowhere, that unrecognizable, faceless voice, who spoke calmly, as if he had all the time in the universe. <br/>The voice of God.</p><p>"My word is only mine, Michael," She said gently.</p><p>The named archangel bowed his head, ashamed.</p><p>"Come with me, Aziraphale," she called, creating a ladder up, which didn't seem to get anywhere. “Come, don't be afraid,”</p><p>"Father...," Gabriel called. “We were about to...,”</p><p>"I know what's going on, and I regret it. You should all regret it,”</p><p>That said, the voice was silent, indicating that it no longer wanted to talk to them. The blonde observed the ladder and hesitated, but then headed towards it. When he rested a hand on the railing, it conveyed to him a pleasant warmth that travelled through his body and made him feel safe, calm and happy. Wherever it lead him, it would be a good place. He began to rise slowly, feeling how fear lay behind him. Everything bad vanished and in the end a heady light awaited it, behind a solid gold door that gently pushed. No doubt that was the right way.</p><p>When he was on the other side, he blinked several times, not being able to believe what he saw. The room of his bookshop opened to him, and a small teapot was resting on the table, with two full cups by it side. The liquid was hot, a sign that it had recently been prepared. He looked to the side, hoping to find someone and took a full turn, marveling. Maybe it was all a nightmare.</p><p>“I'm here,”</p><p>The angel turned frightened. He could swear that for a second there was no one, but now a person was watching him, sitting cross-legged on an individual sofa, with a tea already cold in his hands and she'd even had half of it.</p><p>"You...," Aziraphale said, slowly approaching the figure.</p><p>She wasn't a woman, though she looked like one, and she certainly wasn't a man. His physical features were indescribable, and his voice sounded not one, but many, as if a choir were manifesting in a single throat. His translucent eyes seemed full of light, but they did not shine. There were simply no words to describe her. It was essentially divine.</p><p>"Yes, I am," the entity smiled. “Please sit down,”</p><p>The angel listened to her. The wonderful presence managed to subdue him sweetly. As a perfect blend of charisma and domination. Charmingly threatening.</p><p>“Where are we?”</p><p>“Oh, you know that. We're in your bookshop; opened on an August 17 of 1800’s in terrestrial years,”</p><p>It definitely scared him. He really thought it was creepy.</p><p>“It doesn't look like my bookshop,”</p><p>“It is, only that stopped in time. I have to do it to get down here. Rules of space-time, nothing important," she replied, wanting to downplay him. “Well, Aziraphale. Tell me,”</p><p>The angel's heart stopped for a second and then frowned. He didn't want to do it. He hadn't even called her. He haven't talked to him in a long time. She. Whatever it was.<br/>He've long since stopped naming him.</p><p>"I know what you are thinking," the entity said. "I mean, in a figurative sense, not literally," she corrected. “Why do I decide to show up now?”</p><p>"Oh, I know why, " replied the blond, in an impulse. “But I must... I have to tell you that I don't care. I don't mind falling. I know that I have sinned and that my betrayal deserves punishment, and I really don't care, my Lord...” He concluded gently, still trying to sound respectful. “I just want to beg mercy for the demon Crowley. He doesn't deserve to pay for me,”.</p><p>God listened to him in silence. The angel got the impression he wasn't really there. That all that was happening in the distant future or had happened in the past. His words knew memories, and his body did not feel complete. Reality seemed to be hanging by a thread, and the eyes of that being watched him admiringly. After what might have been years or just a second, the entity nodded.</p><p>"My mercy is infinite for those who have repented," she said. “But I can't grant it to you, Aziraphale,”</p><p>"Please, my Lord," the angel pleaded. “I accept my destiny, but I will not allow anything to happen to him. Please, I beg you. Have mercy.</p><p>"I cannot give you my forgiveness, for thou hast not sinned, Aziraphale," he answered sweetly. “Your betrayal has not been such,”</p><p>The blonde noticed that he had knelt down, so he got up and took off his tears, which he had not felt falling either. From one moment to the next everything had changed, and he didn't understand. How was that possible? He'd been punished before. It had all happened by now.</p><p>"But I turned my back on you, My Lord, " he answered dismayedly.</p><p>“You have turned your back on Heaven, not me. You never stopped being an angel, even when you became what you are now," she smiled, rising to get closer to him. “You have always been my most faithful son, Aziraphale. Even now you think you deserve punishment and you're willing to accept it. But you don't deserve it, why would you?” She asked, as if he were really nonsense. “I couldn't punish you for loving. You're an angel, you were created for it,”</p><p>“But then why didn't you show up before? When did I have to go down to Hell? When Crowley had to go up there…,”</p><p>“Because I knew you would solve it, and you did. You don't need me," she calmly explained. “My power is too much, and sometimes it destroys more than it helps. It's not good for anyone that I get involved in free will, believe me," she said, knowing what she was talking about. “But that doesn't mean I'm not around, making sure everything goes on plan,”</p><p>The angel understood that as if a revelation had shaken him. Just as he had understood his love for Crowley, or his love for humanity, books, and everything he craved. It was good, it was firm, it was there. It existed for a reason. It was just what it was supposed to be and how it was supposed to be. It was part of the ineffable plan.</p><p>"I must go," the entity announced. “Do you want to know something else?”</p><p>“Is Crowley all right?”</p><p>“Oh, yes. Just a second ago he was yelling at his plants, telling them something about coming to visit you” she frowned, a gesture that looked strange on her face. “Could you ask him not to do that anymore? He's got them terrified,”</p><p>Aziraphale smiled. Apparently she didn't know the redhead that well.</p><p>"My Lord...," he called, doubtful of wanting to know the answer. “Am I going to fall?”</p><p>"I don't know," she replied honestly.</p><p>“What do you mean by this that I am now? What am I?”</p><p>“You are an angel, Aziraphale. But you're also much more than that, just like Crowley isn't just a demon. Although I think you already know that, don't you?” She smiled back. “Do you want to remain an angel?”</p><p>The blonde held his breath, surprised. That question completely depositiond him.</p><p>“I... I don't want to work for Heaven,”  he answered, decided. “But I love humans and creations, from the smallest to the biggest. So I'd like to remain an angel...” he said, almost in the form of an order. “What else could I be?”</p><p>God nodded. She was certain that, in reality, none of them were what their believed, but she simply preferred to keep that information. They shouldn't have fully known. Maybe they'd find out in the future, or maybe they'd never know. Isn't that the fun part about living? Find out what's in store for you along the way. And they had great challenges ahead of them. Plenty of time ahead to face it, together.</p><p>"Then you will be," she assured him. “You have my blessing. No one can hurt you anymore, and you must not answer to your sides. You can stay together,” she said fondly. “You can be on your side.,”</p><p>When Aziraphale awoke, he touched his head and took a hand to his face, completely confused. He was lying on the couch, with a book by his side. He remembered what happened, but it was not entirely clear; as if it had been a dream that now slipped away. And he doubted it would have been real. Maybe it was.</p><p>He was completely startled when someone knocked on the door, and only reacted when Crowley's voice called him on the other side.</p><p>"It's awful weather out there," the demon said, already inside the bookshop. "It looks like the second apocalypse," he joked. “Are you with someone?”</p><p>Aziraphale followed the demon's gaze to the small table in the center of the room, where two cups were together, one with an intact tea and the other completely empty. The teapot was even still hot. <em>Jesus...</em> had been there. It had really happened.</p><p>“Angel?” the demon called him, worried. “Is something wrong?”</p><p>The blonde approached him and took his face in his hands. He looked him in the eye, as if he hadn't seen him in decades and caught his lips in a sweet kiss, which was dampened by his tears. They were there, it was real, they were safe. They should never worry anymore.</p><p>“I spoke to God,”</p><p>Crowley frowned, incredulous.</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>"She was here, with me, having tea on that couch," he explained quickly. “She saved me from Gabriel and the others, and then...”</p><p>“Gabriel was here?” He exclaimed, horrified. “Are you all right? Did they hurt you?”</p><p>“No, darling, I'm fine. She saved me,” he assured him. "She brought me here and gave me her blessing. We don't have to worry anymore. She'll take care of us both...," he smiled. “Isn't that wonderful, dear? Just the two of us, with nothing to fear,”</p><p>For the first time in six thousand years, Crowley wept tears of happiness, and then hugged the angel tightly, feeling complete and confident. Feeling like nothing could be against them anymore. There really was only one word capable of explaining how they felt, and it was the same word that Aziraphale had been repeating all those years, from the beginning of time.</p><p>Only he and the blonde's heart against his chest could lock up what he felt. Truly understand what love meant. And at the same time, nothing could contain them. Only they were able to look each other in the eye and know. Only them throughout the universe, no longer against it, but within it. In the heart of mankind, with no sides, no agreements, no orders to obey. Simply loving, hugging and kissing each other in a small old bookshop in the Soho neighborhood. With a perfect sunset outside and the singing of a nightingale in the park, silenced by the noise of the cars.</p><p>There would never be anything more perfect than that.<br/>At least not until the next day, and the day after that, and the next.<br/>For all eternity.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi! I hope you liked it.<br/>Remember that I don't speak English, so let me know if there are any mistakes in the translation!<br/>(This is the last chapter!! I hope you enjoyed it. I loved writing this story. Lots of love!)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>GREAT, I'M DONE! I hope you liked it. I researched several things for this chapter, so I hope it's all clear.<br/>I don't speak English so I did my best to translate. If you see any errors please let me know.<br/>Cheers!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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